AndyBlog

17 Sep 2012

Shock horror! Church holds Christian singing service featuring also some talk about God.

Yes, I know this sounds a little ridiculous, but it's true. Woodhorn Church, near our beloved Newbiggin, no longer functions as a working church and it's future is in some doubt. So, it being a truly remarkable building, the "Friends of Woodhorn Church" we're formed as an active group looking to find positive ongoing uses for the grade one listed building that would guarantee its use and safety in the years to come.

These last ten days have featured some of the most successful events yet. The concert a week last Saturday was a triumph, featuring five great singing acts and yesterday's 'Songs of Praise' was, in effect, the closing ceremony for an awesome flower festival.

I had the honour of playing the piano for this sell-out event and I was blown away to see the church packed to the rafters. More literally than you might imagine.

If you're in the Ashington area and are not involved on any level with this project, you really are missing out on a uniquely good thing. I'm so glad I have the health and strength to play my part.

Why Can't I Own A Canadian?

I have long had a problem with people who quote tiny sections of the Bible and then use them to put pressure on people to think and act in a particular way. I don't like it, because it preys on those who have not the knowledge, strength or experience to fight back.

The rhetoric of this distasteful practice goes like this:

~~~

“Do you believe in God?”

“Yes”

“Excellent. So do you believe that the Bible is the word of God?”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“You suppose so?  Either you do or you don't. There is no room for doubt when talking about God. So, do you believe the Bible is the word of God?”

“Yes”

“OK, it says in [insert Bible reference] that [insert sexual issue/crime] is wrong. So it IS wrong. Either stop it and repent, or get out of the church.”

~~~

Obviously, the delivery is often far more gentle, but the threat is still as compelling. If this is a weak person who struggles to stand up for themselves, it feels like they are being threatened with being cast out from the warm friendships they enjoy at their church - all because someone has decided to take a hard and loveless viewpoint.

I have heard countless stories of people treated in this way, either because they are gay or because they are recently divorced, or maybe because they are living together with their partner. I have heard of one extreme example where people who ate black pudding were approached by the leadership of their church (and yes, in the Old Testament the eating of the “blood of the swine” is outlawed). It's hard to know how to respond to these attitudes in such a way that the person doing the “correcting” understands that what they are trying to do is unhelpful, at best.

However, I read the following article, and it made me smile. Here, at last, was someone fighting back, and in the loveliest way imaginable. So, place your tongue firmly in your cheek, and read on.

======================================

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Leaving Church

I'm not good at endings. The truth is that I just don't handle finishing things very well.

So it was today, as I spent my last Sunday at North Shields Baptist Church, a place that has been my spiritual home for all but ten years.

It was unquestionably the right time to go, but I found the process of leaving to be very painful. Saying goodbye to so many people who I have come to know and love over the years was far from easy. They are all good people, and do not deserve any bad thing - rather, they deserve a very great deal of good.

It's important not to overestimate my importance in all this, but I know I was involved in quite a bit of stuff for the church - not only playing, but doing the weekly news sheet, and a variety of other little jobs. The reality is that I will leave a bit of a hole, certainly for a while.

So it's time for me to adjust to a good bit that's different in my life. It's exciting going a new and different way, but full of uncertainty - which few of us like. Me included.

I have to decide whether to look for a church locally, or even whether to go to any church at all. So much of what I actually believe takes me outside the scope of what might reasonably be termed “traditional church”. My faith is important to me, though, and will ultimately find a way of expressing itself, of that I feel sure. I guess time will tell exactly how.

It's a funny day.  Very funny.

I can't believe I won't be going back there next Sunday and playing that piano...

Truth

Truth fascinates me. People seem obsessed with truth, and proof - for all kinds of things. As far as I am concerned, truth remains as elusive as ever, and those who feverishly seek the truth often end up chasing rainbows.

I ended up thinking about truth again when that old chestnut of whether the bible is true or not came up in conversation. Without answering that question as such, I would ask you to consider this:

Suppose you witnessed a road accident, along with 19 other people, and a witness statement was taken from each person. Imagine, then, that these statements were all printed out and made into a book. The book would then contain 20 accounts of the same event - all of them true as each witness saw it. Needless to say, they would all be factually different and would contain much that resulted from the witness's state of mind, cultural background, their views about driving and their physical position whilst witnessing the event.

The question which I am considering is this:  Could such a book be considered to be true?

Epiphany

Gold - Smashing for crowns or for spending like cash. Worth it's weight in gold.

Frankincense - Made of a very precious resin and burnt as incense. Worth its weight in gold.

Myrrh - A resin used to make embalming lotions. Worth it's weight in gold.

It struck me. If your situation is that you need to bugger off at quite a rate from a horde or rampaging murderous soldiers - a load of cash is very very handy. It would buy you safe passage and enable your family to live, untroubled, in the foreign land of Egypt. 

So, I reckon the gifts from the wise men were spent on taxi fares, take-aways and motel rooms.

And they say that civilisation has advanced...

Jam Tomorrow?

“Your reward is in heaven”

So stated my smug Sunday School teacher. Already I was suspicious. I was only nine years old, but I was of the opinion that this neat explanation for why life had to be hard, stank to high heaven. It seemed to say:

“The christian life is really really hard, and you will never actually have fun - but don't worry. After you die, it'll be great.”

I wasn't old enough to have even considered dying, so the carrot she dangled had no relevance or meaning to me. However, the first part did. It rang very true indeed to me. My life really was hard, full of unfairness and crazy things which I didn't understand. The explanations I got from my parents, particularly my mother, were surprisingly similar:

“I know you don't really understand what's happening right now, but one day - when you're older - I'll explain it to you.”

There was never an age set on this state of “being older”, just the annoying truth that it certainly was not going to be anytime soon. Now that I am fully grown (and then some) I can authoritatively report that she never did tell me. I found out some stuff from other people and some things have come out in conversation, but she never came good on her promise to give me a full explanation of all the madness.

What she did do, at every available opportunity, was impress upon me the need to follow christian teachings to the letter. She taught me how awful a sinner I was and how far short I fell of God's standard. She loaded me up with guilt. I grew up, constantly scared about each rule I might break, and frequently did break. When I was miserable, it was put to me that I really should be miserable, because of all the bad things I did. My only hope, I was told, was to pray to God to forgive me.

It's little wonder that, as I grew up and moved away from home, I pretty much gave up on religion. I associated it with all that had been bad in my life, and I was glad to be rid of it.

So how come I am still involved in church, and stuff?  It's a very good question, and one which I have often asked myself. I certainly don't buy into the puritanical and largely hypocritical dogma that surrounded me as a child, but I just cannot shake off the fact that there is a spiritual part of me which needs to be satisfied. When I pray to God, I feel like He really is there. It feels right.

I'd be the first to admit that the established church may not be doing a very good job of helping us to get in touch with God, but I do believe that it's a worthwhile goal. Who knows, God may be sat up there in heaven, with His head in His hands, almost in despair, saying: “    You      just      don't      get      it !      ”

Well, maybe we don't. Maybe I still don't. All I know is that when I do bother to do boring stuff like read some of the Bible, or pray for those around me, I find that I receive an inner strength and a feeling of optimism that I can attain no other way. Over these last few years when I really have been through the mill, one way or another, I doubt if I would have emerged quite so optimistic if it were not for my faith. Time after time I have found that the christianity that once I almost hated, has helped me to cope with life a heck of a lot better.

Not just jam tomorrow. Jam today.

Christians, like Jesus?

I saw this in an article recently, and it gave me a refreshing reminder.

“I mean, the teachings of Jesus are a great moral guide. Jesus is one of the greatest role models I can think of. It's a shame that Christianity has gone so far from the teachings of Jesus. I don't know anyone less Jesus-like than most Christians.”

Bill Maher

For me, saying I am a Christian matters not one bit, either to me or those I know. Now, if I could actually act like one...

Inspiration, or religion?

Shortly before I write this, my wife will have travelled on one of these. It is a train on the Docklands Light Railway. She is down at the ExCel arena, along with ten thousand others, for one of those motivational-type conferences. You can visit their website at: http://www.inspiredliving.tv/ Tony Robbins seems like one of an endless stream of motivational speakers from the USA, each with their own gimmick and countless people on hand to testify how great he is and how his teaching has changed their lives. Tony Robbins' gimmick is the fire-walk. I don't yet know the details, but I have seen charcoal pits prepared before, where people walk swiftly over in bare feet, based on the clear physical principle that if you move quickly and concentrate hard, no pain will be felt. I've heard that it is an empowering experience, and I would not seek to belittle it one bit. I do sincerely hope that Fiona will enjoy her fiery encounter.

The truth is that I don't know much about this man, or his system. I would merely comment that this seems to be our new kind of acceptable religion. It's limited, involving no long-term commitment, and claims to impact positively on one's life, whilst not taking it over. It's great, it's safe, and it's funded by businesses themselves.

The ExCel Arena, in London's Dockland Area - Holds 10,000 people.

I'm hopeful that Fiona will have a very positive experience there, and one which will benefit her greatly. It just strikes me that here are sufficient religious parallels (see the web site) to ask the question:

"If Fiona wanted her business to fund her attendance at Spring Harvest (a Christian motivational conference), would they be so forthcoming - even if the experience benefitted her greatly?"

Headway

Here's something that I have been meaning to do for a long time now. I've wanted to get a forum online where people can get together and talk about the stuff that interests them.

I get into so many good conversations with people - and there is rarely time to say all of what could be said. Usually some boring business necessity stands in the way and we have to cut short our discussion. I'll bet that the same has happened to you too.

So, the idea behind Headway is to enable people to discuss stuff, raise subjects which interest us - or talk about things which baffle us. It may also be a place to take discussions which start off here on this Blog, or in other Blogs like Jason's or Tim's.

Headway exists as a messageboard - which is, put simply, a web site on which anyone can post messages. Before you can post a message or reply to a message thread, you will first need to register. This is quick and easy, as well as being free. It's up to you whether you take an online persona or reveal who you really are. If you fancy taking part, but would prefer not to let people know your real name, that is fine. Your views will be heard just as well.

I've included sections about Christianity and Church because these are things in my life, maybe in yours too. If you would like other sections to reflect your interests, then there is a place to request them, or just ask me via email.

It's a bit weird, because I am currently the only person who knows that the messageboard is there, and so the threads are few and far betweeen - and exclusively written by me. Deeply sad. I guess this is your chance to get in there and put your own stamp on how it looks.

You're all very welcome. Whether you want a deep discussion about the meaning of life - or to poke fun at something ridiculous. It's a blank canvas, and it will be defined by the personalities of those who occupy the space.

I've paid the necessary fees, so that there will be no banner advertising to distract us.

Want to get started? Go here: http://headway.proboards29.com/