AndyBlog

Drugs, man!

Oh my...those tablets are SO good.

I know they take less pain away than the morphine, but they let me be who I am without depressing me. Honestly, I feel SO much better.

Yay!

Home again, unnaturally.

An important part of any holiday is the homecoming. Sadly, in my case, I ran out of my normal medication just as I returned to the UK. This has meant taking "alternative" medication left over from various trials with different drugs. I have to admit that this, in addition to really dreadful jet-lag has left me feeling awful.

The flights themselves were an absolute dream - thanks to all of you. I can't thank my back room team of pray'ers and positive thinkers. You people are amazing, and you really came through for me again. I was told there were no free seats on the plane due to overbooking, so I was pretty sad. I even bought an up-rated seat to make life easier ($250!). Then, when I made it to the gate, the nice lady told me that they had magically found not two but THREE spare seats together and I could have them all to aid my comfort.

I was in tears of gratitude almost, because it also meant my expensive seat was refunded. The flights went well - and then those wonderful people at Heathrow wheeled me through all the complex security checks - it was a delight and a joy to be so well supported. Again, on the little flight up to Newcastle, I had a spare seat next to me - so it was comfort all the way. Just the jet-lag to worry about...

I'm pretty sure I'm over the jet-lag now, but I continue to remain in bad fettle, and I am hoping hoping hoping that the arrival today of my usual drugs will be sufficient to set me back on the right road.

In reality, I have been going "cold turkey" from my usual drugs - which should, in am told, be phased out and not just suddenly stopped. Unfortunately the doctor got the numbers wrong and whilst she got me to the end of my stay, she did not take into account when I arrived back and how long it would take to organise new medication. I bitterly regret this and look forward to feeling much more like the real me in the next 48 hours or so.

Just in case you haven't gone cold turkey from a strong analgesic drug, here's what you get:

Hot and cold flushes - Teeth chattering cold and then burning sweaty pain to follow. Then repeat.

Stomach Cramps - Constant clawing stomach pain making eating all but impossible.

Nausea - A quick way of dispatching anything one might be unwise enough to eat, but a horrible dizzying feeling which persists and influences all the other unpleasant sensations.

Bone Ache - I feel like every bone, every joint aches. Whatever I try to do hurts - and just doing nothing hurts as well, but marginally less.

Depression and Paranoia - I've had this big style. On my return I was not too bad but I have gradually sunk into quite a depressed state in which I have very little cheeriness at all. I don't believe people like me, and I don't want to be around anyone. It will be interesting to see how this changes as I get my usual medication.

It all adds up to feeling really really bad. So, if you were expecting to see me at church on Sunday, I am sorry. I don't think I could have driven anyway. To all the other people who had expected cheery homecoming visits, I am sorry to you as well. Also to all those who have been hearing overly downbeat impressions of my trip to the USA, please take it with a small pinch of salt. I know I am not in a good place right now, and I will feel better soon. Similarly, I know who my friends are, and I will let my brain and logic dictate to me that you all really do still like me. Well, a little. :)

It has been an interesting struggle, and one which I am keen not to repeat. I am looking forward to doing my radio show once more from the UK. Yes, for those of you who had forgotten, yes I still do the show and I love doing it very much. If you have never listened try it out at 10pm tonight - and don't forget my good friend, bassist and DJ Tony Brown who handles the Thursday night slot - also from 10-11pm. To tune in, go to http://www.adlib.co.uk Maybe I can look forward to some new listeners tonight. That would be nice. There's a ple asing little chat room as well if you fancy chatting with other listeners of the show as it plays.

Airoplanes and ...stuff

A Navy Plane at Lexington Park Airfield

Not too long ago, I was at an airfield near to Lexington Park. Not that this town is any stranger to planes, as there is a large American Navy base right here in the town. Its presence dominates the place and is the source of the town's continued expansion, in large part.

The airfield is separate from the base, but is still often used by the Navy for take-off and landing practice. This, as I was informed, is exactly what was happening when we arrived. A Navy pilot was busy putting in his or her required hours landing and taking off in a plane. To achieve this, they would not do a complete landing. Instead, they would touch down briefly, throttle back and then accelerate once more and take off. Then round in a small circle and the whole process repeats.

As I watched this charming spectacle and attempted to photograph it I thought how much like life this can be. I then immediately thought how pointless and twee it would be to say something like that - or to contrast the path of that tiny plane with the big one I am to step on to later today. If you wish to make hay with that train of thought in your own mind, feel free.

I will be sad to leave my existence here for the last month. It has been a rare solace and a time for genuine consideration of my life. So often we say “Stop the world, I want to get off!” - and so rarely it does, and yet it has for me. It has stopped so I can see exactly what I need to see, and it has also fed me so much delicious food. Win-win, I'd say. All that, and airoplanes too.

So what have I learned, you may well asked. To that, I'd mostly have to say it was for me and not to broadcast generally. Except, perhaps, to say that you might see the outworking of it in my life over the next few years. In the short term there is one thing that almost everyone will notice, almost immediately. I look forward to the looks on all your faces.

Aside of that, I have made some observations about the USA, or at the very least this little part of it.

The place runs on peanut butter, coffee, applesauce and flavours.

Peanut butter is nearly all the confectionary. Even the cheese crackers have peanut butter in between. A big favourite here is the ”Peanut Butter Cup“. It is simply a good dollop of peanut butter encased in chocolate. That's it. They sell in all sizes, and all the stores are full of them. Seriously, peanut butter rules.

Coffee is everywhere, see below. Apple-sauce is available in various flavours - as is everything. I have been drinking “Diet Cherry 7-Up” as well as “Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper”. “Mountain Dew” is massive over here, and is available in a dizzyingly wide range of flavours, colours and carbonations. The drinks shelf at the supermarket is mind-boggling. How anyone ever chooses anything defeats me. Perhaps they just close their eyes and grab. It would take me a month or more of concerted tasting to form any kind of valid opinion.

Even the fried chicken has flavours and textures. “Barbecue Fried Chicken with Extra Crispy Coating” is one option I simply did not have the time to try. Almost everything has a shake of seasoning on it, and no-one seems the slightest bit bothered about lots of spiciness. Many bland-lovers from the UK would struggle with the large amounts of taste in evidence here.

Every store is a one-stop store.

The pressure to prevent people from using other stores has reached fever pitch. With this in mind, every shop or petrol station has to offer a full range of food, both hot and cold, a sandwich chef, fries, 12 types of hot filter coffee, an espresso bar and a machine which exists only to dispense special sweetened creamy milk. They also stock a wide range of chewing tobacco, cigars, cigarettes and many pills for various purposes. I could go on with the list of what they do stock for quite some time, but I should mention that none of them seem to sell beer, wine or spirits. Maybe some do, but none of the ones I have been in.

They all also stock nachos - any shop worth its salt stocks nachos. Beautiful fresh crispy yet cheese-covered nachos. With a thousand combinations and varieties. It's almost too much to take in. Sheetz turned out to be my favourite, and I now have my own Sheetz stay-warm mug (as soon will Jason, aww...). They seem to have the best mug design for drinking from and keeping the coffee warm - but WAWA seem to have the best overall coffee. That said, I bought more coffee from Sheetz because the mug refills were only 79c - about 40p. Amazing value for a 20oz mug of coffee.

I will miss Sheetz, and I would be keen to set up the UK's first Sheetz franchise in NBTS - on the site of the old petrol station possibly - before someone builds yet more houses that no-one particularly needs.

Cooking is not quite cooking

No-one loves a shortcut more than me. Well, not quite. The whole of the USA loves short-cuts so much that the art of cooking seems to be consigned to the restaurants almost entirely.

Cookies - Use either a mix and add water or simply take them from the can and slice them up. Bake and you're done.

Brownies - See cookies.

Croissants - Either part-baked or from the can.

Coleslaw - Buy the cabbage ready sloced and then mix with the amazing “Slaw” dressing. (Utterly delicious)

The list could go on quite a while. The supermarket sells very few cooking utensils - not even a steak hammer. Either it is more usual to buy cooking equipment from a specialist store or very few people need it. I feel sure that the supermarket would stock cooking equipment if it was widely needed.

I cooked a couple of meals when I was here, and they turned out really well, I am relieved to say. That said, they tasted different because of the different ingredients here. Bonnie did not have a cheese grater, because she just buys grated cheese if she needs grated. Just a difference in mindset. I felt a bit like a “stick in the mud” insisting on doing things the old fashioned way.

It's just really really different

Honestly, it is. The UK and USA are not two countries divided by a common language, we are two very different countries FURTHER divided by a common language.

The way of thinking here is different - the approach to problems is different. The way of building is different - the logic behind it is directed by the different challenges presented by the climate here. The logic I have built up from an existence in the UK does not work here in a much larger part than I could have imagined.

Likewise, I do sincerely believe that someone from the USA would struggle coming to the UK and thinking, as I did, that people were fundamentally the same apart from a few different words and a different accent. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are two peoples with radically different ways of thinking. Our logic has grown up in different climates and what works in the UK often simply does not work in the USA, I strongly suspect that the same is true the other way round.

A good indicator is that it is often cheaper to eat out than to make a fancy meal at home. I'm not sure that is true in the UK....yet?

This is the big question. Are we slowly migrating towards becoming a more USA-style culture?

I think not.

We are the way we are because of how our country is. We live as we do because of a host of reasons to do with nature, culture and economy - even religion, in a way. I can't see us ever changing completely - even if we became a state of the USA. We'd still be British and no-one could stop us.

I have surprised myself by not taking on any Amercianisms whilst here. I think this is because I have mixed exclusively with Amercians. Had I been with Jason, for example, I might have had fun taking off the accents, without fear of condemnation. With Bonnie around, I hardly dared assume an American accent for fear of sounding patronising - and rightly so. I am glad I have been forced to be my english self, and I feel better for it.

One of the smallest of the Petrol Station/Laundramat/Convenience Store/Coffee Shops I encountered. This far out on the coast of Maryland they don't even had a cell phone signal or broadband. Seriously.

So now it is time to return home. I will miss Maryland, and all the wonderful people I have met. I will miss Bonnie most of all, she has been beyond good to me, and I hope she can make it over to the UK sometime soon so I can show her the culture from the other side of the pond. Then she might understand some of the interesting things I have discovered, but from the other angle. I really should put her in touch with Sandy so she can be prepared for the culture shock.

Thanks to all of you who pray from me when I travel. I appreciate it so much - and if you don't pray, at least try to send out some positive thoughts for me. I appreciate it all. Hopefully, I'll be back safe and well in the UK at Friday lunch time. At this point I will go to a place of eating with Jason and consume some English fish and chips, and once again celebrate the English culture that I have missed....well, missed a little.

Local beach...

I'm getting used to living near to a beach...

...but not one quite like this. This is the beach nearest to where I have been living for the last month. It's a deeply charming place - and normally very calm to swim in, or so I am told. Because of the weather system cutting in last night there were a few waves, of which I made good fare, I hope. Good enough, anyway.

There are many parts of Maryland that so could be England. This beach is not one of them. It is most definitely foreign, and delightfully so. Many of the beaches in Maryland are actually private, so getting to the coast - even if you live right near it - is not easy. If someone owns the house right next to the beach, that bit of beach is theirs, so you can see how whole stretches of beach become unreachable - whilst at the same time, the rich owners of the house get that much prized luxury of a private beach. Capitalism in full swing, one might say.

Anyway, I hope you like the picture.

Wave-Cove-Cylinders

Getting Slightly Arty With It...

Old USPS New USPS

Somewhere as small as Scotland just gets one little post caravan...

But in the OLD days all it had was this even littler shack...awww....

Interestingly, a caravan is a type of car here, and never the towed mini-residence that it is for us in the UK. Also, on this recurring theme, a jumper is a kind of dress for young girls, and not a SWEATER, as it should be more universally termed.

Really, truly, these things happen all the time, as Sandy rightly points out.I feel some kinship with Sandy, who made the reverse trip some months back. She encountered all our daft Englishisms and had to struggle with them. Here, I perceive them as strange Americanisms - but there's more Americans than UK people so guess we're outnumbered.... but really dreadfully stubborn.

The thing is, I can understand the USA having different words for things - as indeed they do for a great many things:

Flannel - Wash Cloth

Pavement - Sidewalk

Push Chair - Stroller

It's the things which recycle common words with similar but different meanings which do the worst damage. When I assess my conversation with others over the last month, a firghteninly large portion of it has been in relation to these wordal differences. I'd like to say I've learned a lot, but actually it is far worse than that. When I return, anyone who comes into contact with me will quickly become bored with me cleverly remembering the American way of referring to whatever it is and telling them with great glee - like it affects them in any way or that they were even remotely bothered.

Silly me. :)

Requested Scenery 2

Tirelessly charming - this one from Point Lookout, near Scotland, MD.

Some stuff I've been fixin' to say to y'all...

Yet another FINE motorcycle

I am of the opinion that there is not such thing as a naff motorcycle in the USA. Everyone that owns one seems to love it with a love like no other. They sparkle, they gleam and they sound oh-so-sweet. Oh-so-sweet, that is, if your definition of ”oh-so-sweet“ is something like: ”throbbing very very loudly - honestly REALLY REALLY loudly, oh my goodness that's loud.“

This is a salad I had in the nearby town of Waldorf.

We went to Waldorf one day to see the movie “Get Smart”, which is incidentally pretty funny - Steve Carell seems to be the comedy go-to boy these days with profitably pleasing results in most cases.

Anyway, after the movie we went for a bite to eat in this town of Waldorf and opted for a salad - a steak salad. So there I was, eating my lovely salad in the town of Waldorf. Imagine!

I turned to the waitress at one point and congratulated her on the lovely salad I was eating in Waldorf. I remarked to her that one might very well term it a ”Waldorf Triumph“ - because it was such a nice salad, and such a nice town.

Actually, the steak was pretty tough and the only thing I truly enjoyed were the corn cakes, which surprised me because I don't usually like them that much.

Anyway, that's quite enough to say about that, except perhaps to mention that I can now be truly said to have eaten a ”Waldorf Triumph“. :)

Requested Scenery 1

The Sunsets here can be outstanding. No photoshop trickery required.

Watching for the signs

Part of the delight of visiting any country is to take in the culture in all its varied forms.

Road signs, for example, tell us so much about the things a country sees as important.

Pictured here to the right you see a sign showing the care that the United States of America is showing towards its growing and active drug-taking community.

Addicts are clearly informed, by means of roadside signs, when to expect special offers on a variety of drugs. The one shown here appertains to speed, but other common signs include:

”Pricey but high quality Heroin ahead“

and

”Rock bottom Crack in 2 miles“

It's certainly more blatant and widespread than I had imagined.

Another thing to watch for are “strange behaviour signs”. These cover a wide range of strange and unusual hapennings that you will see, but be shocked to see in and around the United States.

The one pictured below is a very good example. It warns us to watch out for “Bicycles Chasing People” - and whilst this is sufficiently rare for me not to have actually seen it myself, I am assured it happens all too often. Sometimes with horrifying consequences.

The occasional roadside cross with a few wilted flowers sadly tells its own story. Sometimes a wheel from the errant bike is left in the ditch as well, as a further warning to the unwary.

This is a sad and troubling side to life that I was completely unaware of before this visit.