I've just had something to eat that I have not had for years. I wonder if you can guess what it is?
It brought back memories of early childhood tea-time's - Sunday evenings and one very naughty Monday morning. Smashing.
Thank you Carnation - and thank you to hat we used to lovingly call “Evap”. I just /know/ that if I had to explain it to someone who knew not of it, I would gross them out.
Food really does bring back memories...very vividly.
Here's how to get the great British buffet aftertaste without the expense
...without the party.
We all love the feeling of having been at a wonderful British buffet over the Christmas period. They're wonderful, aren't they? Well, without going to all the expense of either driving to one - or, let's face it, managing to get invited to one.
OK, so here's how.
As pictures - get pickled onions, peanuts and cheese.
1) Take a bite of onion
2) Take a bit of cheese
3) Grab some nuts and “sprinkle” them into your mouth
4) Chew and subsequently swallow
Now then - now, and only now...can you taste it? Close your eyes, imagine it - YES you're at a fairly poor church or youth club organised party, aren't you? Man. Takes me back.
If you don't like onions - try substituting pineapple chunks. Works just as well.
This tip brought to you by Andy®
So here we are, suddenly thrust back onto the Isle of Tiree.
It was raining when we got here, indeed, the rain and general inclemency affected the sea portion of the journey profoundly. As soon as a ferry hits a swell, two things happen almost immediately:
1: A group of excited children, teenagers and excitable parents gather at the front of the observation lounge and shout “Wahaaaaaaayyyyy!!!!” each time we hit a big wave. The rules for the sound emitted are not strict, with sound people merely screaming, and others politely applauding.
I did nothing. I didn't even look. I placed my faith in the anti-seasickness pills I had taken - and the soporific effects they engendered. To look at the waves, or indeed to move in any way would have been to invite greater waves of nausea - which brings me to point two:
2: A slight smell of vomit lingers in the air.
Nevertheless, arrive we did, and the unpacking was done with good grace, although not much enthusiasm. We were all wrecked on so many levels. Time to sleep. We hurriedly unpacked our bedding, made our beds, and then lay on them.
I should point out that I am on holiday with Jac - a good friend from way back, and her son Tris. Tris nobly stood in for TL, whose fresh status as an ex-wife of mine somewhat precluded her from accompanying us on this occasion. Not the easiest situation to deal with, but it seemed such a shame to waste a perfectly booked holiday on Tiree - particularly as booking a cottage here is so much in demand. I won't pretend that some sort of black market deal did not occur to me.
Upon waking after the bliss of 4 hours sleep, I noticed the weather had brightened considerably. The sun showed its face and the afternoon soon lit up in a more traditional and usual idyllic way of Tiree. That said, even in the rain, the island retains a little of its magic.
My, how good it is to be here. Surely, of all the places on God's good earth, Tiree is the one which has the capacity to raise my spirits?
The pictures are of our first meal together, beautifully cooked by Jac. Most welcome. Thank you Jac. I did take pictures of the rain and the shine, but a caera card error snatched them away again. Ah, well.
More reports soon, assuming I manage to sniff out some internet...
Yet another FINE motorcycle
I am of the opinion that there is not such thing as a naff motorcycle in the USA. Everyone that owns one seems to love it with a love like no other. They sparkle, they gleam and they sound oh-so-sweet. Oh-so-sweet, that is, if your definition of ”oh-so-sweet“ is something like: ”throbbing very very loudly - honestly REALLY REALLY loudly, oh my goodness that's loud.“
I first encountered grits whilst on holiday in North Carolina some years ago now. My opinion of them then was that they were a pretty grim way to eat corn. The consistency was grey and soupy - the taste was all but non-existent. Interestingly, on my return to the USA I find them exactly the same. A little thicker, perhaps, but essentially the same mixture of promise and disappointment. I think, perhaps, these southern delights should remain with those who created them. Thank goodness there are people out there who truly love them. Otherwise they might die out completely.
Corn Dogs are a completely different matter. I haven't tried these at all. The reason for this is not that I have not had the opportunity, but more to do with the fact that I simply do not like Corn Bread that much. This, in turn, unpacks a deal of misunderstanding which I will endeavour to explain.
A Corn Dog, caringly eaten by stunt operatives just moments later.
I was under the impression that Corn Bread was a kind of bread, made with a high corn content - but nevertheless standard bread which one might comfortably slice, butter and eat with jam, marmite or perhaps peanut butter. Such is NOT the case. The stuff referred to as "Cornbread" here, is actually a tray of 2" thick cake made with corn as the primary ingredient. Corn Muffins are exactly that as well - Muffins (Buns) made with Corn as the primary ingredient. If they are fresh and hot, they taste great with just butter, or with preserves (Jam). The thing you need to understand is that that consistency is crumbly like a cake, not stretchy like bread. There is no yeast involved, the raising is done with baking powder.
I have tasted corn bread, and some of it I like a little, some of it I do not really care for. Generally speaking, the coarser the grind of the corn used, the less I like it. This, in stark contrast the bread I once got from a bakery in Newark, Nottinghamshire, England, UK - which was conventional yeast-driven bread, but made with a high corn-content in the flour. This english "Corn-Bread" was utterly delicious and I would love to repeat my ingestion of it whenever possible.
So, to return to the subject in hand, it seemed pointless to waste a good Corn Dog, because it is essentially a hot dog, wrapped in American cornbread, battered and then deep fried, and then frozen and then thawed and then microwaved. Now Noah, here, loves the things - he can barely get enough of them - and good luck to him. I would, in truth, quite like a bite, I just don't want to waste a whole one. Maybe I will be brave one day and promise to eat a whole one no matter what. We'll see. I'm afraid I would mention it here if I did. You know I would...
No, not a chicken - an enormous Apple Fritter!
...and for fritter, read doughnut. Yet another word I have encountered which means something similar, but not the same. I am losing track of all the words which are there as a trap for the English tourist from the UK. Here's a few:
What is worse are the phrases I use which are close to insulting here, and just silly humour in the UK. Maybe this is linked to my off-beat "humour" not working well in the USA at all. I mean, people tell me in the UK that they often don't know how to take me. Imagine my same dead-pan diametric statements in the USA. It's almost impossible to convince someone afterwards that I was really joking. Often the damage is done.
I now live in fear of coming out with the wrong thing, and have found myself very much looking forward to seeing my good friend Jason for a video chat. I can say all those things I am now paranoid about and not worry too much. (Well, not until the sniper kills me stone dead at Newcastle airport on the 11th July, that is.)
There are other observations I have made about USA society, which I will share with you in a future post.
I should say that i am enjoying life here - particularly the food. I have been in significant distress with my legs at various times, and also had a throat infection, but by enlarge I am feeling OK now. Maybe I am starting to adjust to life in AC coolness? I hope so.
I miss you all, and I look forward to seeing you all again for a nice get together.
Be well.
genuine Mexicans, to celebrate someone called Bonnie's Birthday the day after her actual birthday and one arrives just as the sunshine is fading leaving only meagre time to photograph the sign over the door for blog purposes before entering the restaurant and being seated by a moustached Mexican staff member of the staff at the genuine authentic Mexican restaurant and then to be given a basket full of tortilla chips and the finest garlic-heavy salsa one had ever tasted before witnessing Bonnie ordering a cup of queso salsa to further accompany said tortilla chips as we settle down to give our fullest attention to the colourful and treat-packed menu... - but it happened to me last Monday, of that you can be sure!
I can't imagine it will ever happen again, that way. Can you?
Seriously, this place calls itself a cafe (as, I am told, all Mexican places do), but it is most definitely the finest Mexican restaurant. I would really love to have the opportunity to go there again before I leave this lovely area. The salsa, and more specifically our demand for it, was reflected in the presence of a carafe to enable us to top up our personal salsa bowls as we worked our way through the pile of tortilla chips.
The chips were warm, and the salsa so garlic'y I thought I might smell quite badly afterwards. I cared not. :)
A word about the chips - the fries. The chips - the potato chips -NO - erm, French fires, I mean fries. Well, they were exceptional, I would make the 30 minute journey to there again with complete glee just to eat a plate of these chips fries. They are /battered/ fries, and, as such, beautifully crispy on the outside, even after the vinegar I assaulted them with - and fluffily soft on the inside. Pure chip fry heaven.I even hit them with tomato ketchup as well and still they were crispy. Amazing. Seriously, if you like chips fries, you would be sure to have loved these. Totally.
And then there were the main courses.
But I digress. The chicken Chalupa was incredible. Like a mini-meal all in itself. Corn tortillas, smoked chicken and beautiful crisp salad with fresh grated cheese. I would cheerfully go to that restaurant and eat this dish on it's own...etc.
The beef taco was almost a disappointment. Just plain ground beef and cheese and a taco shell - "Well, what did you expect?" I here you yell at me loudly, and slightly annoyed. I'm sorry - it's just that this place is so good that I expected another little piece of magic.
The Chile Releno was a big Chilli pepper stuffed with really thick melted cheese. Not spicy, and actually very very filling although pretty bland. Again, I expected more spiciness, but Bonnie explained to me that real Mexican food is actually quite bland. I was shocked, to say the least, by this news. Mexican food has a chilli-based reputation as being very spicy indeed. Fascinating.
Next up, a Beef Enchildada. Very tasty indeed. Lots of beef and some onion too, and some tastier cheese on top along with a tomato sauce. I'd go for this again, although I may not come to this restaurant solely to eat this. To bastardise a phrase "Worth eating - not worth coming to eat."
All in all it was an exceptional meal because of:
The Queso Sauce - Remarkable smooth and very cheesy.
The Chips - Battered fries, amazingly crispy and yet fluffy on the inside.
The Salsa - As garlic'y as I have ever tasted salsa and the better for it.
The Chalupa - Never had one before, but a revelation.
The International House Of Pancakes - serving breakfasts of amazing quality.
I enjoyed this breakfast some time ago, but the memory remains. No matter how savoury the breakfast order, the pancakes are always served alongside. Not only that, but there is a choice of five flavoured syrups to go with them.
I have yet to find something about breakfast in America that I dislike. The scrambled eggs are superb, the hash browns refreshingly un-fatty....the bacon crispy, the ham tasty...and the sausages delicate in flavour, although not a patch on Jason's - of course.
I am told that the breakfast omelette was excellent...it certainly /looked/ excellent, wouldn't you agree?
The food here is very plentiful, expertly cooked and very good value for money. It may be cosier eating at home, but costwise...it really does make sense to eat out. Even the petrol stations have become wonderful convenience stores that make great food to take away.
At one such place, "Sheetz", you can get a sandwich made from Pretzels, Biscuit (scone), Pancakes or even plain old bread. There is a fearsome array of coffee pots, espresso machines, pre-maid speciality pecan and toffee coffee and - well...just so much stuff my mind simply boggles.
I think back to Northumberland...and the odd petrol station that does coffee. Poor coffee. Expensive coffee - and with very little choice. Well, it's just a world away.
I ordered my lunch today at Sheetz. I ordered it on a touch terminal, just like the one pictured here. Well, actually, it was the one pictured here. I went through the process to get my Nachos. I was up-ordered because I went for an extra Jalapeno-stuffed Soft Pretzel - as well as extra cheese. Goodnes, they have these things figured out well. All I really wanted was the Nachos with cheese. I ended up with extra cheese, spicy beef chilli and the soft pretzel.
It was nice, too. :)
Once ordered, a ticket pops out the bottom of the machine, just like Argos. After a trip to the till to get the ticket stamped as "Paid" one can then proceed back to the food counter where someone will have made the delicious things. This, indeed, turned out to be the case.
I think I even have a picture of the pretzel that they came up with. It was about the size of a DVD disc. It tasted vaguely of Jalapenos, but was a rare disappointment overall. I wish I had not been tempted into buying it.
The Nachos themselves were delicious. They reflected the tendency around here to make things genuinely spicy. I guess it's just a shame for those who like chilli, but prefer it a little milder. Still, a nice turnaround for those like me who are so often let down when so called "spicy" chilli, just isn't.
Oh my, I do believe I have descended into food babble. Thank you for reading. Yes, I am finding the food here utterly fascinating.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: The Twinky
..and frankly, you can keep it.
I feel a little let down by this American icon of convenience food. I knew it was bad for me...I knew it was, at best, a "guilty pleasure", but it never once struck me that it would not even be superficially nice to eat.
It's actually horrible. It leaves a greasy discharge on my mouth as I chew... and it isn't even that sweet actually. The cake actually tastes dry and the white goo inside really does not taste good. We have some awful cooking in the UK, we're rude and often very unkind... but we have not yet embraced the Twinky - and for as long as this remains true there is hope for us.
Although not much. After all, we allow Supa Noodles.
Actually, what is the trashiest household name convenience food in the UK?
Pork, garlic, fat, garlic, herbs, garlic, stuffing, garlic, garlic...
I am very remiss.
I was gifted the sausage of Jason, I photographed the sausage of Jason, and yet I failed to publically report on the sausage of Jason. So, let it be said now, and without any chance of rebuke.
Jason's Sausage IS Amazing!
There, I said it.
So we fried it up in a pan, cooked it nice and slow, just like the maker suggested - and the results were amazing. Amazing in a /good/ way. :-)
Very tasty, very light...and an experience I am keen to repeat. The stuffing made them very light to eat - a texture unlike any sausage I have previously eaten. The only note of caution I would sound was that the garlic content as very high indeed, and so this is definitely a sausage for the evening - and preferably a collaborative sausage.
By that, I mean a sausage it is good for everyone in the house to eat together. If not, I pity the one person who does not partake.
To sum up - an excellent sausage, but sadly not available in the shops.
Well done Jason!
Next: Pork Pies. Get to it.
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