AndyBlog

Tech Support Funnies

Having worked at one time in computer tech support, these funnies have a particular access to my inner thingies. I hope they make the more smug amongst you smile.

[With grateful thanks to "Within the Crainium"]

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Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah... thank you.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah... this one does work.

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Customer: Can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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[OK, this one was the one that made me laugh out loud...for some reason...]

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

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God Bless OCR

I use ReadIris Pro - hailed by many as the world's finest cross platform OCR package. That said - see how it crumbles when met with a sheet of words with guitar chords written in. These things are sent to remind us that technology may be good, but it has massive limitations, and it would be quite wrong to think that "they can do anything with computers these days".

Really, quite dreadfully wrong.

Games beat pain revelation

Pain sufferers find gaming better than drugs

" A researcher at Simon Fraser University in Canada has discovered evidence to show that playing video games is more effective at helping chronic pain sufferers than medication.

Professor Diane Gromala worked with doctors in an attempt to determine how gaming can relieve the pain of patients.

According to the published report, "controlled experiments consistently show subjects who are distracted in a fully-virtual reality world… report less pain than their counterparts using drug-based pain therapy”. "

[Taken from the Digital Spy Web Site today]

I find this enthralling. As a chronic pain sufferer for some years now, I have tried most things suggested.

Recently, I have been suffering from significant stress as well as pain. I have taken to playing an online role-playing game - not a nasty one - just a simple character-based game in which I move around a 3-d world meeting people, doing activities etc.

Some would, no doubt, call it boring. They may be right, but when I need to get some relief from what I am feeling, I find it is just the ticket. An hour clicking away and flying around to different places and I tend to forget the pain to a significant extent. I can settle my mind, and prepare for sleep. As a consequence, I sleep better and feel more refreshed.

I don't know if this is quite what those Canadian researchers are on about, but it would seem so. I have certainly seen the benefits - far beyond the time actually spent playing the game.

Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.

I'm so sorry...

I have to admit that this simple parody made me fall about laughing.
If you haven't seen the Apple TV ads, it's OK if it's not funny for you.
PC users with no sense of humour, you, too, are exempt.

I am English (England)

This sort of thing really makes my blood boil. I mean, honestly!

Superb FREE Video Photoshop CS2 Tutorials

One of the tutorials in action

This is a very simple posting, but one which might help a few people out. If you click the link to continue reading this blog entry, you will see that I have listed links to various pages of the Watch and Learn Photoshop site.

These people produce very helpful Photoshop video tutorials. A number, quite a large number, are available free for us to view. If you find them helpful, you might like to buy a disc or two - if not, well you still just might pick up a pointer or two. Watching these videos has taught me a fair few things - and I have been using Photoshop since version 1 on the Mac.

The tutorials are done using Windows, but reference is made to Mac keyboard shortcuts when applicable. If you use Photoshop, there is a high chance that some of these will do you some good, unless you are a double clever-clogs like..... er,....like some people might be.

Enjoy.