Why no blogs?

Hello there everyone.

That's assuming you haven't stopped reading me, so to speak.

There are reasons why I haven't been here. For one thing, my leg problems have resurfaced and I am struggling to do everything I should do. For another, I feel as though I have lost direction here. I'm no longer sure why I blog and what this blog is about.

I feel I need to regain focus and return in a more purposeful way - not just posting the odd thing from the web which has amused me. This blog was never intended for that. It was to be the semi-private outpourings of my soul to a few treasured friends.

I guess that train sailed a long time ago.

So I went through a phase of thinking who was reading the blog and trying to moderate that. J put a stop to that by discovering my boardy poetry on the poems blog. I guess i am who I am. Sure, I am a christian - but I do not in any way hold myself up as an ideal of christian living. I am an imperfect soul who likes naughty rhymes, but also loves playing piano in church. Maybe it's a paradox, but it is also who I am. If I've learned anything, it is to start to accept who I am, and work from there. There is little mileage in pretending I am someone I am not and then getting caught out.

As ever, being one person, known to all equally, is what matters. I no longer wish to compartmentalise my life, as many do. My friends are, without exception, great people. I wouldn't have a party and miss a few out because they wouldn't fit. In my experience, people are surprising - they get on with each other really well.

So where am I now? The answer is that I don't really know. I certainly love the people I know and those with whom I associate. I am delighted to have been voted onto the committee for the Newbiggin Arts Forum, a place where I might manage to be a positive influence on the village, and therefore this local area. That feels good.

I believe we define ourselves by where we throw our energies. Few people lie on their deathbeds bemoaning their lack of commitment to their jobs. That said, I am looking to expand my ability to work efficiently by working a little smarter. Being self employed is not easy, particularly when it is me that sets the agenda each day.

As for this blog, well, I suppose I want to bring back the honesty and stop missing stuff out because it might offend. Obviously there is a line to be drawn, but I think I was placing it so far down that nothing but lounge chatter was possible - that's why i lost interest. For me, it has to be real to attract me.

OK, that's it, belly-button gazing over. I'm back - and with a slightly refreshed agenda.

I hope you like it.

Comments

[Tim the Enchanter]

Welcome back Andy.... and thanks!

[Rebecca]

I really really like it....

[Barry]

Andy it's your Blog, Say what you Want to say (Is that not what Blogs are for) If people dont like what you say, They dont have to read your blog.You go for it mate be as honest as you want

[Ian]

Great, I understand some of that and agree with your sentiments. I may just follow you down the road.
Well done on the Arts forum success, I know how proud I am of the work Rebecca does in the community and I hope you enjoy it as much as she does.

[fave sis michelle]

I dont always comment but like to read what you blog. Well done on the arts forum have fun......

[christine]

How's about a new picture to go with the new you? Or a real picture to go with the real you?
Or a nice picture to go with the 'nice' you?
I'll stop now.

[Sandy]

This is great. I have a similar goal of being authentic and not censoring myself. It's a real challenge.

[John Cooper]

I have totally fallen out of love with the world of blogging, for the very reasons you've stated. I'd rather spend more time being me - than talking about being me. Someone sent me an email the other day saying that r"ather than tidying the house in case someone came round, we should spend the time doing something interesting which we could talk about if someone came round" - I think that's what I feel about blogging.

This being said, it's testament to your high standard of post's, and the times you really moved me by what you've posted, that yours is the blog I still visit.