Special thanks to David Todd (Toddy) for supplying this one via email.
Below are questions about Australia. They were posted on an Australian Tourism website and the anwers are the actual responses by the website officials.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Yes, it’s only 3000 miles - take lots of water
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is the big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Hervey Bay. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180o. Contact us when you get there and we’ll send the rest of the directions
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Just use your fingers like we do
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country next to Germany, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the choir plays every Tuesday night in Hervey Bay, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You’re a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in Am-eri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless and make good pets
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first
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