Andy Curtis: Writer

I have long aspired to be a book writer - a writer of tomes. The thought of penning great and intricate stories which captivate the reader and usher them into my own wonderful world is as captivating now as it was when I was but a small child, writing meaningless letters on the backs of pieces of card taken from packets of my mother's  tights.

Though definitely utter nonsense, being just scribbles with the occasional letter, to me they were required reading - at least for me. I knew what they said, and would cheerfully 'read' them to anyone who would listen. Each reading was a fresh opportunity for me to construct the spoken nonsense which has never entirely left me, even to this day.

My literary progress has been less than spectacular since those prolific days. Back then, I was capable of over four ladies hosiery card-backs a day, sometimes more. Impressive, some would say, although surprisingly few. The simple fact is that my ambitions have never been realised, despite many grand and undeniably well-intended attempts to pen something of significance.

I neither have the time to commit, nor the vision for anything larger than, say, a pamphlet. This thought gave rise to my current inspiration. I have held back from publicising my aspirations here, lest my feelings change or turn out to be some sort of short-lived fad.

It's realistic, pithy and achievable. If everyone has one book in them - surely that means we can each comfortably manage at least half a dozen pamphlets? If the book stores took the idea on, we could open the door to easily affordable short term reading matter. (STRM) It's always hard to make that £8.99 decision, but a 75p decision would be far more straightforward. Mainly because it's cheaper. Vive la pamphlet!

I have a few titles brewing, which I will share - and please do send in your suggestions for topics which would comfortably be served by the writing of a short and entertaining pamphlet. I will pick out the most engaging, either by dint of humour or usefulness - or both, and pen a proper, printable pamphlet.

1: Prayer: A Surprisingly Practical Guide For Atheists And Agnostics
2: Bombing: Why You Probably Shouldn't.
3: Air Travel: Handy Tips For The Obese
4: Appearing To Be Busy When Actually Completely Idle: Advanced Notes And Info

Andy Curtis: Writer

Andy Curtis: Pamphlet Writer

Comments

[Rebecca]

Jam or Marmalade - rules of preserves.

[Tim the Enchanter]

I look forward to seeing your name as a winner in the Whitbread pamphlet awards Andy.

[Jason]

Utter balderdastic tummypiffle of the lowest order.