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February 27, 2006





R - It's the comment I could and would have made to such a long post. Perfect.

Thank you.


I have to agree with what you say, and I also have to admit that my own personality has a different emphasis for different people or situations. But I think that all but the most egotistical and self-absorbed people are also able to adapt in this way. I don't think it's a weakness of character - I see it as an opportunity to present an aspect of yourself that is most appropriate or effective according to your context. I have thought of this negatively when I see it in myself - which I do. I think I'm a chameleon - but I also find that as I get older the differences in my various personalities are converging. Perhaps I'm just getting lazier - or perhaps it's being a bit more confident. I'm a people-pleaser too, and sometimes think that I live a little too much for other people, but I don't want to change, because that's part of who I am. I just have to be aware that it's sometimes easy to forget about myself and my own needs, and that's not good either. I'd rather be that way than just self-obsessed though. It's a case of striking a comfortable balance, and being yourself as much as possible, whilst also being someone who can fit into a situation well, and accommodate behaviours that are especially appropriate to specific situations.

Liz Marshall

I think you are talking about two different things. I agree with Jason in what he has to say about relating to other people. I see that as a totally necessary adaptability which enables us to make good, useful, supportive relationships.
I think Andy is also making another point about the main relationships or even relationship in our lives. I spent many years with my ex. We didn't bring the best out in each other at all. It wasn't really a partnership and the relationship fell apart as time went by. Now I feel I am in a partnership.


I agree and it intrigues me... ooo psychology and sociology all at once!
I would also say that my mum has changed lots. It took a while to get to know her again when she and my dad split... then there has been more changes since her relationship with you started to develop. I'm not sure the changes have been so noticeable to others, but I live with her, but then maybe she is different with me too!


First of all I'm so pleased you haven't been to our house before you made this comment - ahem! Secondly I don't know many people who are the same all the time with everybody and anybody. It also depends on 'being on your own territory' or how intimidating certain people are etc. Goodness me Jason - perhaps I don't know you at all - how scary.

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