What's in everyone's pockets/bags today?

Rebecca said:

'I looked in my pockets today and all I had was a piece of lego, one pound coin, packet of pocket size tissues (thats the mum in me) and a packet of pro-plus (thats the everything else in me). Whats in everyone elses pockets today?'

OK, in my bag I have....

1. A keyring kite (obviously)
2. A compass
3. A glasses cleaner that is dirty and doesn't really work
4. Some morphine-derivitive pills.
5. A pen-knife
6. Two needlework emergency kits
7. A single pill of Viagra
8. A comb
9. A driving licence (mine)
10. My wallet
11. A pair of sunglasses
12. Two pairs of headphones
13. Some mints
14. A multi-function compass/bottle opener/ scredriver
15. A screwdriver
16. A pair of pliers
17. A tape measure
18. A torch
19. A foldaway ruler
20. A Canon IXUS digital camera
21. My Treo650 phone
22. A bluetooth keyboard for the phone
23. A bluetooth headset for the phone
24. Several pens
25. Some writing paper
26. A un-redeemed winning MCDonalds voucher.
27. Lots of other things.

Comments

[Ian]

I have a hole in my pocket, and thats it. Wonder where everything else went.

[Aaron]

So Andy, which website did you purchase the Mary Poppins replica bag from?

[Ian]

I need to help Andy trim down his bag so here are my suggestions for his items:
1. A keyring kite (obviously)
This is from an earlier blog entry and willprobably be removed within the month so we forgive this being in the bag

2. A compass
Take this out of your bag, you are wearing a watch so you dont need this.The sun rises in the east and set sets in the west. At midday it is due south if you are in the northern hemisphere or due north if you are in the southern hemisphere. At 6am, it is due east, and at 6pm it is due west.

3. A glasses cleaner that is dirty and doesn't really work
Ho Hum, why not replace this with a greasy rag, it will have the same effect on your glasses and in emergencys could be tied to a stick to use as a flaming torch (For storming castles on hills for example)

4. Some morphine-derivitive pills.
Well everyone should have those

5. A pen-knife
Take this out, Im sure your multi function tool has a knife blade, an umbrella and a tool for solving cross border disputes before they escalate into war.

6. Two needlework emergency kits
one for each hand eh?

7. A single pill of Viagra
A years supply eh, ok we will let you keep that in.

8. A comb
Whats a comb? (Those who know me.....)

9. A driving licence (mine)
By law so you have to keep that

10. My wallet
OK
11. A pair of sunglasses
Buy reactives and get rid of these

12. Two pairs of headphones
As a musio you should always carry a spare, but because you are allowed to keep your wallet you are not allowed the spares as you could buy some. Then you are not allowed the first pair as you are not carrying an MP3 player.

13. Some mints
Oh Yeah

14. A multi-function compass/bottle opener/ scredriver
Very handy

15. A screwdriver
Not handy as you have a multifunction tool. If your excuse is that this type of screwdriver isnt on your multifuntion tool, then you obviously need a better multi tool so stop whining and buy one.

16. A pair of pliers
See above

17. A tape measure
See above or carry a 6 inch piece of string which rolls up even smaller and will always be 6 inches.

18. A torch
See flaming rag above and dump it

19. A foldaway ruler
See 17

20. A Canon IXUS digital camera
Without it there would be fewer blogs so ok

21. My Treo650 phone
Very handy for calling people

22. A bluetooth keyboard for the phone
Thats just showing off, every phone has letters on it.

23. A bluetooth headset for the phone
Ok, but only if its for when you are driving

24. Several pens
Not needed, your phone takes notes dump it

25. Some writing paper
See above except if you need a paper boat/plane

26. A un-redeemed winning MCDonalds voucher.
and its out of date, get rid of the paper above and use this if you need a paper boat or plane

27. Lots of other things.

[Liz Marshall]

He could have gone on .... it's just that we needed to set off to go to the cinema!
I think the pens and paper are essential, I mean, how else can one leave rude notes on people's windscreens or post messages through letterboxes?