AndyBlog

4am again...

One of the good things about a certain knowledge that one cannot sleep is the ability to allocate the time well and achieve some stuff. What often works against this laudable aim is the sheer tiredness that accompanies the insomnia.

Not so tonight.

After finishing the radio show and having a quick sandwich (insofar as a single crust can be deemed a sandwich), I got straight to work. First, I updated a couple of web sites, then put some music together for a video, before rounding the evening off with cleaning the fridge. (it was a thick crust - and granary, quite tasty)

The thing about the fridge is that we had some fridge poetry, very rude fridge poetry, that needed to come off the fridge before we could safely show people round the house with a view to selling it. (I had some ham on it, but it was so thick that if I bit the ham off the top taking some bread, there was still some crust left underneath)

Sounds simple, doesn't it?  Just take the pieces off and store them.

I do declare that I would be in great difficulties were I to try and overstate the difficulty of removing the black deposits left by the tiles. They seem to have chemically bonded with the white enamel of the fridge. Fiona had a good go this evening, but was defeated - despite a valiant effort. (I had lemon curd on the remaining underneath bread - very tasty)

I resolved to find a way, and way find I did do.

Enamel, thought I....hmmmm........that's a bit like car paint, isn't it?

T-Cut!

Sorted.

Went through it like butter. Whoosh! - Three hours later, all done.

It's nice to see the fridge restored to showroom spec again, though please don't look too closely. There may be a few very carefully placed fridge magnets...

I find now, having done the deed and told you all about it, that I am ready to sleep.

Yes. I think I am very ready. (and I had a cup of coffee as well, because it doesn't keep me awake)

Andi Peters

...and his amazing nostrils.

I mean, honestly - have you SEEN his nose?  The nostrils are huge huge huge - and when they flare - Wow!

I think I would be scared to be near him, lest even I get hoovered up.

I'm a very accepting person - really I am. I wouldn't normally dream of pointing out shortcomings in people physically, but I am genuinely amazed. Seriously - take a look. Something is going on there. Not sure what.

Maybe he has a courgette nose fetish?

No, I've gone too far this time. I shall have to edit out the next few comments.

Not only that, but he's xx xxxxx x xxxx xxx xxxxx xxx x  xxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxx like that, at least!!

Yxx xxxxxx xxxxx xxxx xxxx x xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxx x xxxxx xxxx xxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx.

But that's really not fair.

Massive nostrils, though.

Conjoined Twins...

Conjoined Twins

I don't propose to go into the tricky debates surrounding this unfortunate condition, except to say that if you are conjoined yourself there exists a tremendous potential to get away with crimes.

I mean, if one twin smacks someone in the teeth, can the courts really send both to jail?  Surely that would be an abuse of human rights?

Sorted.

House Pix

So, we're selling Griffin House.

It's a time of cleaning and painting, in the hope of selling this mighty chunk of real estate. As part of the process, Jason came with his wonderful wide-angle lens and took some smashing pictures today.

So, if you're interested as to what my house looks like when tidy - or maybe if you want to buy the biggest house in View Lane, here's a quick look...  (click on any image to biggerise)

It's the kitchen, in which, we kitch.

It's the pool room, where we swim.

It's the guest room, where we put the scroungers.

It's the bathroom, where we bathe.

It's the massage room, where we massage.

It's the outside, where it looks a mess.

Offers in the region of £354,000 - £45,000,000 please. Highest bidder gets a free naked picture of me with a yellow duck, and Griffin House.

If you're thinking...

(15 second pause) ...that this looks good to eat. Well, you'd be right.

Jason did just that, only seconds after this photograph was taken. He hasn't regretted it so far. Well, not to my face, or through his.

Just part-cook some part-cook ciabatta, then cut in half, then cut in half the other way. Load one half of the half you have halved with thinly sliced onion and red cheddar cheese. Place this loaded half of the half into a pre-heated oven (around gas mark 7) for 10 - 14 mins. Maybe less, or more.

Meanwhile, fry some bacon in a frying pan till it is just how you like it. When all is ready, assemble as required, maybe with the addition of a few oven baked chips.

It's a bacon sandwich, but a very fine one. Please believe me, even if you're a vegan.

It's been a day of photography today. Mainly to get some good internal pictures of this house - but more of that in the next blog entry.

I am posting this lovely picture of me here, because of Christine. She has previously said to me, quite rightly, that I don't publish any bad pictures of me, just bad ones of her. Naturally, I defended myself, but really didn't have a leg to stand on.

Pictures of me always look great, and so it was something of a challenge for Jason to take one of me which looked truly dreadful, in order to redress the balance. I think he delivered with this offering. “Just watch the falling hammer”, he said - and I did.

Ouch.

It's OK, folks, I'm fine.

And the winner is...

...announced after an unbearably long pause. Always.

It started with Big Brother, for me. Davina used to leave a slight pause for effect when announcing the evictee. Fair enough, it is exciting - and why not build the tension up a little. I don't have a problem with that at all.

This last season on Big Brother was rather excessive, making us wait 10 - 15 seconds, often.  Then, last night, on the X Factor, a show which already annoys me because of excessive padding, they made us wait over 15 seconds, like this:

“And the final act who will definitely be coming back next week is....................(15 seconds)...........gonna find out after the break.”

I deem this to be intolerable, and I hereby complain, really quite a lot.

Advert

For sale: parachute. £56 o.n.o

Only used once, never opened, small stain.

I want that too

The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room.

“A footballer,”

“A doctor,”

“An astronaut,”

“The Prime Minister”

“A fireman,”

“A teacher,”

“A racing car driver.”

Everyone that is, except Tommy. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and still. So she said to him, “Tommy, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Possible” Tommy replied.

“Possible?” asked the teacher.

“Yes,” Tommy said. “My mum is always telling me I'm impossible. So when I get to be big, I want to be possible.”

--------------

I'm big now....

Hell Thupdate

My legs are a lot better than they were, thank goodness.

I kinda got used to being almost unable to walk and in miserable pain all the time. It comes as a delightful surprise to be better than I was, and yet the changes are so slow that I sometimes forget that they are happening.

So what is better?  Well, my legs look like legs again. Not good legs, you understand, just recognisably legs. It's a start.

There is still pain, for sure, but it is much reduced. There is also a limit on what I can do in terms of walking, running and steeple-chasing. I am taking less pain killers, doing more and complaining less. Marginally less.

It's a good thing.

The National Museum Of Photography

One of the best things to do when in Huddersfield is go to Bradford. Ask anyone.

This view, for example, is readily available from the free-entry National Museum of Photography, right in the centre of Bradford. Simply take one of the lifts to the top floor of the museum. You can actually only take one of the lifts to the top - floor 6.

Whilst there, take a moment to peek into the projection room of the IMAX cinema, housed in the same building. It's an awesome 3D capable 70mm projection system, displaying truly awesome movies. If you get a chance, do pay a visit. The amazing films play all day, apart from Mondays.

The one we saw, featured 3D footage, supposedly set on the moon. It was narrated by Tom Hanks. The 3D effects were great, but maybe not the best subject matter for this treatment. The other 3D feature “Aliens from the deep” was probably a better bet. I'd certainly return to see that.

Heck, anything looks good on a screen as high as a multi-story car park - but in 3D - Wow!  Things literally shimmer in front of one's eyes. Dirt flies up - it feels real. It's a substantial illusion, and an impressive one.

Here's Liz, on the famous magic carpet.

The rest of the museum is great, although the emphasis is very much on video rather than still photography. There's a news studio, lots of stuff on special effects, including a magic house for the children and various film and TV set mock-ups for us to film and vision mix.

We enjoyed the TV Heaven booth, playing old episodes of “The Avengers”. Liz put in a top-notch performance on the Magic Carpet, nimbly displaying my wonderful Yehlex bag. There's even a half-decent coffee shop on the ground floor, selling half-decent coffee.

If the museum and IMAX cinema aren't enough to delight you for a full day, there's an ice-rink just around the corner and, of course, all the legendary curry-houses of Bradford to enjoy.

Honestly, they should pay me for this.

It was fun.