I'm not good at endings. The truth is that I just don't handle finishing things very well.
So it was today, as I spent my last Sunday at North Shields Baptist Church, a place that has been my spiritual home for all but ten years.
It was unquestionably the right time to go, but I found the process of leaving to be very painful. Saying goodbye to so many people who I have come to know and love over the years was far from easy. They are all good people, and do not deserve any bad thing - rather, they deserve a very great deal of good.
It's important not to overestimate my importance in all this, but I know I was involved in quite a bit of stuff for the church - not only playing, but doing the weekly news sheet, and a variety of other little jobs. The reality is that I will leave a bit of a hole, certainly for a while.
So it's time for me to adjust to a good bit that's different in my life. It's exciting going a new and different way, but full of uncertainty - which few of us like. Me included.
I have to decide whether to look for a church locally, or even whether to go to any church at all. So much of what I actually believe takes me outside the scope of what might reasonably be termed “traditional church”. My faith is important to me, though, and will ultimately find a way of expressing itself, of that I feel sure. I guess time will tell exactly how.
It's a funny day. Very funny.
I can't believe I won't be going back there next Sunday and playing that piano...
You're not alone - been there, done that. As have many, the world over.
It was really hard at first, but I'm enjoying the journey now! :)
Posted by: Michelle | September 16, 2005 at 08:21 AM