It would be quite wrong of me just “lay into” TV presenter Lorne Spicer. She doesn't really deserve it, and has, in all truth and honesty, done very well for herself.
That said, there would be no point in me mentioning her today, if she didn't annoy me in some way. In reality, she annoys me in pretty much every way. The tragedy is that I like some of the shows she presents, but preferred them when their original presenters were in charge.
So what's my beef with Lorne? Well, it has to do, initially, with an out-take of her I saw on Denis Norden's “It'll be alright on the night”. She was working on a programme called “Car Booty” and it was raining. I'll not repeat her words here, except to say that she strongly implied that the people concerned were losers and that she felt she was wasting her time doing what she did, and maybe that people watching did not really care either.
Nothing wrong with that, you might think, but strange that she would allow TV to broadcast what were her real thoughts breaking through - not just an amusing quip or forgotten line.
Even without this, her obvious falseness and plastic smile would not have convinced me. It's clear that she has little interest or respect for what she is doing. She wears loads of make-up, which I also see as another attempt to hide the real her. Come to think of it - she often wears thick woollen coats, which hide almost all of her.
She's currently doing another series of "Car Booty" and "Cash In The Attic" on BBC1 during the day.
Anyway, see what you think - comments please....
Spicer is OK, but her lower class pronunciations of words like "pound" (payund) and "five" (fuhiv) are unpleasant, even to us US viewers.
Posted by: Tod Caro | May 02, 2008 at 11:12 AM
At the end of the day, you people do not know her and are being particularly harsh. I know Lorne and she is a lovely person. The laugh is real and genuine, she talks about her work with enthusiasm and she doesn't wear all that make up off camera! She is a doting mother to her son and she is a very generous person. Everyone has things that they don't like about people and I think it's unfair that she is being targeted. She does her job and goes home to be with her son, simple as.
Please leave her alone!!
Posted by: Kma | May 02, 2008 at 10:54 PM
Why Kma? These bloggers have provided so much entertainment taking the mickey out of her. Long may it continue...
Posted by: ange | May 07, 2008 at 12:13 PM
What's the difference between Lorne Spicer nd a bucket of shit?
....The bucket
Posted by: ken dodds dad | May 17, 2008 at 03:05 PM
after sitting discussing the annoyance of lorne spicer with my husband for what feels like the 100th time..we decided to see if there was anyone else out there who felt the same way. my first line of thought is why? WHY.. is this awful trognadite even allowed to offend my eyes multiple times on a daily basis...and why is she also allowed to offend my ears with her monotone droning whine of a voice.
then my trail of thoughts led me to wondering "who" or "what" ???
WHO..or WHAT dark force would even contemplate giving this woman her own prime time midmorming slot on tv? this i have to say upsets me...and i imagine a million other housewives who sit down to a nice cup of tea only to be faced with what possibly is the most annoying woman on the planet.
and my final thought is this...is this woman who calls herself lorne actually human or is she some kind of insect that has crawled up from the sewers only to make me feel like i should throw my much loved tv through the window. the truth is we will never know what lies beneath her multitude of knee length coats...wooly scarves and 10inches of makeup.
Posted by: the scotts | May 23, 2008 at 12:18 PM
Thank the Lord for small mercies
Posted by: ange | June 01, 2008 at 11:00 PM
Her voice does my head in !!!!
Posted by: clive smith | June 18, 2008 at 11:34 AM
Oh, I'm with you 100%. I can't stand the woman. I hate her nasal, whining voice and her put-on laugh. I'm sure she had elocution lessons at one time to stop slurring her words and she now enunciates her words to a ridiculous degree. She also stretches all her vowels out. Aaaaaand....It surprises me that she does so much presenting, not only because I think she's crap at it, but because I think she comes across as really fake and amateurish.
It amazes me that so many people have commented that they love her!
Oooh...I think I need to have a lie down in a dark room...
Posted by: Ariane | June 26, 2008 at 12:23 PM
I can't stand this woman on Cash in the Attic, she is so false, so wooden and her voice grates. I wondered where she had come from, thinking she must be related to someone in TV, because such a poor presenter shouldn't be on TV. I much prefer Alistar Appleton, the rest, and I think I have seen Jenny somebody and the other guy with lisp who is awful.
Posted by: Karen USA | August 01, 2008 at 10:12 AM
do you think it's ok to be fat then? pork face.
Posted by: m.mann | August 14, 2008 at 06:52 PM
wat a load of wasters you are, WHY DONT YOU USE THIS WEBSPACE TO HELP STARVING KIDS, OR SOME THING USEFULL !!!
Posted by: old lag | August 19, 2008 at 12:14 PM
I hate Lorne! She is sssooo false, that artificial laugh, ohh it makes me want to punch her square in her snout!! I watched the outtake clip, and it only confired her attitude on screen. What a false cow!!
Posted by: Wattsy | September 16, 2008 at 12:24 PM
Lorne was born 23 January 1971 so that makes her 37 though she looks more like 45.
Posted by: Stevie boy | September 24, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Has anyone noticed that Lorne now seems to no longer use her false laugh?
She also tries to talk posher but you can still tell she is as common as shit.
Posted by: ben dover | October 02, 2008 at 11:53 PM
Personally I Find Lorne to be one of the most attractive women i have seen in a long time(but that is just me). In reading some of this stuff i have to say i find alot of very jealous people. I am in the U.S.A. and if she were ever to make a career here, and if she were to have me i would marry her in a heartbeat. I only wish i were able to see more of her on American television.Now on a personal note to MS.Spicer i would love an autographed photo.
Posted by: George | October 13, 2008 at 04:40 PM
I have to correct the poster who said that Lorne is 37.
She may well be 37 in dog years but in real life she is 45.
Wilkipedia says she was born in 1963.
Though she looks so rough they must mean 1863 as she looks so rough.
I remember the good old days when television only hired good looking presenters.
They have certainly scrapped the barrel with this piece of shit.
I would rather rain man presented instead of this fuckwit.
For two reasons I would not piss on Lorne if she was on fire.
The first being is the munter might live and make another show.
The second being she might actually smell bettter covered in urine.
Posted by: donald donaldson | October 15, 2008 at 11:06 PM
Burn the fecking gobshite at the stake.
Posted by: brendan davies | October 15, 2008 at 11:11 PM
I think you must be scum - Lorne is a great person she's done really well for herself and people can relate to her because she's down to earth - I suggest you take a hard look at yourself coz 'our Lorne' is the best TV presenter on the box at this time - sack Fern Britain and put Lorne in her place along with Marc Franks and I might even start to watch ITV.
Posted by: Michelle | October 16, 2008 at 11:12 AM
I had to laugh at the message posted by Michelle who posted this drivel "I think you must be scum - Lorne is a great person she's done really well for herself and people can relate to her because she's down to earth - I suggest you take a hard look at yourself coz 'our Lorne' is the best TV presenter on the box at this time - sack Fern Britain and put Lorne in her place along with Marc Franks and I might even start to watch ITV."
You are in the minority darling; people do not relate to her they think she is a joke.
She is as common as shit but still looks down on others.
Fern Britain may be a fat blob but people genuinely seem to like her.
You only have to read the various comments posted here to realise people hate Lorne.
That don’t just dislike her little they despise the old dog.
If your role model in life is Lorne Spicer you must be one of life’s under achievers.
Just think some people look up to Nelson Mandela.
That silly cow Michelle thinks the sunshine’s out of Lorne’s arse.
Posted by: Sir Peter Townsend | October 17, 2008 at 11:02 AM
where did lorne get her black n pink silk dress from that she wore on put you money where ur mouth is ???????????????????????????????????
Posted by: kerry | November 05, 2008 at 01:09 PM
u lot are sooooo rude there is nothing wrong with lorne spicer !!!!!
u all need to gooo and get a life
Posted by: kerry | November 05, 2008 at 01:11 PM
u lot are sooooo rude there is nothing wrong with lorne spicer !!!!!
u all need to gooo and get a life
Posted by: kerry | November 05, 2008 at 01:11 PM
Why does that awlful woman lorne spicer try and talk posh on her shows.if you listen to her old stuff she is taking in a essex twang and cor blimys now its POSH..COME ON LORNE YOU ARE NOT POSH.so talk how you used to and dont kid yourdelf or other people..its so obvious darling stop faking!!!!its so irrititating stop it!!!
Posted by: amanda miles | November 11, 2008 at 12:31 PM
Me and my partner always laugh when Lorne starts speaking in her "posh" voice.
Someone needs to tell here you can't polish a turd.
Posted by: Betty Swallocks | November 14, 2008 at 02:43 PM
Another thing has anyone noticed she has stopped doing her fake annoying laugh?
I think someone must of had a word in her shell like.
She must think that if she puts on a posh voice and drop the laugh it will enhance her career.
Are the BBC really that desperate for presenters that we have to endure that haggard old witch?
Everytime I see that porker on TV I can't help but feel there is an Essex seafood stall outside a pub.
That has a memeber of staff missing.
She reminds me of Norah Batty but without the class or good looks.
Posted by: Betty Swallocks | November 14, 2008 at 02:49 PM
I like Lorne. I find her very sexy. Yes, i would truly love to have sex with her.
Posted by: John Allen | November 19, 2008 at 07:10 PM
In my house we don't all her Lorne Spicer.
She is known simply as the shit faced fat arsed slag.
Posted by: Billy no mates | November 24, 2008 at 11:40 PM
OK, this seems the place! Just to update all the posters here, and enable them to savour the irony, Lorne Spicer AKA Lorne Donovan declared herself bankrupt on 4 December 2008. Bet her research on Beat the Baillif came in useful!
Posted by: Rich | December 13, 2008 at 04:05 PM
Haha the silly cow is bankrupt.
Posted by: Honest John | January 02, 2009 at 04:54 PM
Every one is entitled to their own opinions but I feel you are being a bit (just a bit?) harsh on Lorne.
Ok, she may not put on the "tv" act/face that others (Davina McCall?, Carol Vorderman?, etc.) do but she has something about her that makes her seem to me (maybe just me?) a very attractive and sexy lady. It's not just the rare shots of her in boots (although that does add to my arousal on the extremely limited oportunities I have to watch her programme/s) or in flowing and or short skirts but there is just something that makes me want to whisk her away in my car, marry her and spend the rest of my life making her happy and contentended. The coments (by return email) of the editor/owner of this website are eagerly anticipated along with comments of other people out there.
Posted by: Kenny | January 12, 2009 at 05:05 AM
I think you should get in touch with the people at Guinness! Get your face in next year's book, Andy!
Posted by: Ange | January 13, 2009 at 11:08 AM
How hilarious that fat arse Spicer has been made a bankrupt.
She shouldn't of wasted her money on having her make up put on with a roller.
Posted by: Betty swallocks | January 15, 2009 at 06:53 PM
At this particular hard time in Lornes life.
Can I just take this opportunity to give her some words of advice.
"Get your fucking fat arse down the dole office and collect your Giro you over made up fucking witch"
Posted by: Dennis the Menace | January 15, 2009 at 10:08 PM
It's true, the fat munter is bankrupt!
http://uk.tv.yahoo.com/blog/article/101420/
Hope the BBC sack her. Here's to a life of selling prawn rings on the Iceland adverts..although I bet even they would think twice about that!
Posted by: Dumbledore | January 16, 2009 at 05:49 PM
Lorne always reminds me of that silly bitch Kerry Katona.
Both are fat slags
Both are hated by the public
Both have no class or sophistication
Both are being made bankrupt
Both are now so poor they have to shop at Iceland
Posted by: Cosmo Small piece | January 22, 2009 at 02:16 PM
I doubt whether any of Lorne's snide critics could
do her job as well as she does. I suggest they look at themselves first to see if they are above
criticism.
Posted by: Gwen Bailey | February 03, 2009 at 03:04 PM
Personally i do like lorne but i must admit that the false laugh and plastic smile does cheese me off aswell and as for my missus cannot even stand the sight of her.
Alan
Posted by: alan Thomas | February 03, 2009 at 08:08 PM
some of the things said here are hilarious, and she does have an awful laugh, wears too much make up and big clothes in summer. i wouldnt have thought she was mean, but i guess i was wrong. get the minger of the box. she cannot present at all
Posted by: sean | February 24, 2009 at 12:36 PM
You'd tire. Oh yes.
Posted by: AndyC | March 09, 2009 at 11:35 AM
she is a essex slag!
she has gone in bueinss fucking in the alis in leigh on sea
i have footage of it email me for details
Posted by: Shelia | March 16, 2009 at 01:17 PM
OMG Look what i found guys cause lorn has lost al that money shes broken in to the indrusty
http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/47/m_0324c5899eb7489284813f121fcfc74b.jpg
dirty little sket
Posted by: emma | March 16, 2009 at 01:23 PM
I feel really mean, but I've just heard that Lorne has declared herself bankrupt, and laughed. I'm sure that bankruptcy must be an awful thing, and I am sort of ashamed of myself, but it makes her claims to be a financial expert seem a little dodgy, don't you think?
Posted by: Ricky | March 27, 2009 at 07:06 PM
I like to watch her programmes, but don't particularly care for her as a presenter, although she is probably a very nice person in real life. What I can't stand is her clothes - she needs a Trinny and Suzanna make over; she wears some hideous and unflattering things that look like they have come from the left overs of a a bad car boot sale, or unsold jumble. Please let's have Angela Rippon or Jenny Bond, at least they are stylish!
Posted by: Jen Stevens | November 16, 2009 at 11:54 AM
Comments for this post are now, finally, closed.
It was time.
Posted by: AndyC | August 05, 2012 at 06:15 AM