It's been a while...

No gory pictures, no endless diatribes about how ill and in pain I am, no outpourings of my despair - It must be great for you people.

“What has changed?”, you may ask.

Go on then....

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Thanks.

Well, since you asked, I think my attitude is what has changed. The other thing is that this blog is now so widely read by so many people, some of whom I only know slightly, that I feel a little inhibited in what I say. In fact, it forces me into a corner, by challenging how holistic I dare to be. I do try, as far as possible, to keep my life as open as as I can - it's just easier that way.

Having said that, it never fails to freak me out when someone I hardly know congratulates me on re-wiring my shack, or some other detail. Writing here feels so personal an cosy, it's easy to forget how public it really is. It's OK, I just need to keep re-adjusting to it. It's a constant process.

All of that said, my attitude has changed quite a bit of late. I've had to accept a few things and come to terms with a few others. The main one is just to accept my physical condition as something I have. It may improve in the future, and I hope, with all my heart, that it does, but it does not help me to impatiently tap my toes waiting for it to happen.

I can do without the frustration.

So, I have an ongoing condition that gets worse and better in turns. I appreciate the good times and hate the bad times, but I am more at peace with overall picture. It may not be a solution, but it's a way for me to keep my perspective. The only times this approach fails me is when something new happens, as it did recently, when a patch of the dreaded cellulitis broke out on my arm. It went fairly swiftly, but gave me a scare. Where will it hit next? That remains a worry.

Just for the record, my left leg is bad again, keeping me from Church and various other activities this weekend, already. I'll have to see what is possible next week.

No flowers please. Certainly no hyacinth bulbs. They were rubbish - like a cheap firework, except smellier.

Comments

[Liz]

Yes, Amy will take some beating!

[tom]

Hi Andy,

I hope that you don't mind me reading your blog. I just happened to surf in some time ago, and you write about interesting things, and I like hearing about life in the UK. My grandad used to tell stories about life in Glasgow, but those were stories told by an old man who took much creative license with actual facts. So I find it interesting to read about a life in progress, as it were. You seem to travel regularly, and your work sounds interesting. The leg problem must be unpleasant, but such is actual life. And the top- notch video of your dog eating your leg was perfectly priceless, causing great guffaws and laughter.

At any rate, I apologize if my being a stranger commenting on your studio freaked you out.

[AndyC]

Tom - please don;t worry - it was a tricky thing to express on a blog. Not meaning you at all.