Some images are more confusing than others. Here is a good example of one such image. It's fairly important that you enlarge the image and take a good look first. Do that now.
Did you look? Sure you did. OK, great - we're making good progress here.
First, I must make an admission. I moved the light bulb, so as to make it appear as if Jason is pointing to it. I do trust you will be able to deal successfully with the sense of betrayal that this news will engender.
The next little puzzle is associated with the information that Jason has little or no interest in cricket. Why then, you may quite legitimately ask, is he dressed as a cricket umpire? It's ridiculous, and actually quite distressing.
More distressing, because his posture is that of an umpire giving the signal which indicates that a batsman is “out”. More distressing yet, because he is holding the stumps in his left hand. This means that he has actually pulled the stumps up before giving the batsman “out” - a clear breach of the rules.
The last great perplexing insult is all too obvious: He is not on a cricket pitch. Think about that for a moment, and note that you didn't see anything unusual about his location until I pointed it out. What does that say about you?
So, to sum up, the whole scene is completely wrong. There's a good chance, in reality, that there is no cricket match going on, and there may not even be a cricket team anywhere nearby - let alone two teams.
As for the pants... Well, I guess the pants placed around the fluorescent strip are as a result of some changing-room jape or other such good-natured teasing. I don't think we should worry too much about them. So, if you were worrying about them, take a deep breath, and as you breathe out, try to imagine all that tension leaving you along with your breath.
There. Do you feel better? Of course you do.
Thank you for your time, and I do hope that you have found this exercise useful and annoying.
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Further reading:
More about cricket can be found HERE
More about tension and frustration can be found at a web site somewhere, maybe.
More than you can adequately deal with about Jason Thompson can be regularly found HERE
I have no idea what is going on here - I have absolutely no recollection of the above picture being taken. I have never in my life dressed as an umpire or any other sporting official. On the night in question I was several miles away at a charity egg-boil, and all I can remember is a slight struggle, then nothing. The next I knew I was coming to in the car park of St Mark's URC, Boldon Colliery, with superficial bruising to my knees and a taste of stumps in my mouth. The police have been informed, but were rather dismissive, to be honest with you. I have downloaded the above picture as evidene, and will be taking the matter further with members of the Women's Institute, who, because of the as yet unresolved events of that evening, have still been unable to resolve any commonly agreed on marking for the event, and the first prize of an aluminium milk pan remains unclaimed. Needless to say, the charity did not fare well, and as a result, countless elderly citizens in the Boldon Colliery area will go without underwear this Christmas. Just think about that when you're stuffing your turkey.
Posted by: Jason | December 11, 2004 at 10:36 AM