Graveyard Bash

You're going to want to click on this picture to see the larger version. I have never seen anything quite like it - and I'd be fairly sure that you haven't either. Calm as you like, they are systematically taking apart the graveyard opposite our house. Knocking it to pieces - destroying gravestones, digging out graves and generally trashing the place.

"Is this some group of sick thugs?", I hear you ask, "Is it some twisted powermonger trying to intimidate people?", "or is it some kind of 'Beadle's About' joke, in a taste even worse than the great man himself?"

It is, of course, none of the above. It is council employees carrying out their duties to the best of their ability - a standard which is, tragically, pretty woeful. Nevertheless, the whole graveyard has been condemned and it has to be made safe. Apparently there are problems brought about by mining works, which have made the surface unstable. Seemingly, this is sufficient for all the graves to be dug up. Quite why they need to break the gravestones....I am agog.

Ideas? Anyone? No? Anyone? No? Ideas? Anyone? Dust? Anyone? No?

Comments

[Aaron]

I see the Ground Force team are at it again...

[Aaron]

oh and by the way I do like the effect you have added to your picture at the top-left. The nice mottled canvas sort of thing - nice.

[Liz]

I suppose if the ground is unsafe due to subsidence, then there is a danger that the gravestones could topple over and fall on some unsuspectng dog walker! It reminds me of a very sick song we used to sing at guides ... "He sat in the arbour and played a guitar." Anyone know it?

[Jason]

Is that the song that continues "...then sneaked off to the graveyard where he exhumed several bodies and destroyed numerous graveside monuments posing as some kind of Council worker, before indulging in despicable acts of mutilation with the tattered corpses."? Yes! We sang that at Sunday School.

[Liz]

Well, we acted it out at Guides and got our own bodies from the graveyard to add realism!

[Tim Sokell]

Please....get some therapy!

[Tim Sokell]

...and Liz, I seem to remember singing that in the boy scouts, (male sang first obviously!) and the rhyme continued..."He sat down beside her and smoked his cigar...." There was also another version sung by rugby players which modesty forbids relating here.

[Jason]

I just love how we got from desecrating graves to filthy rugby songs in this blog. Keep up the good work everyone.

[Liz]

Hi Tim, yes, it is that song, we must be generationally linked ... Jason, you're obviously too young (slight green tinges begin to appear).... I don't know the rugby song version though!??!

[Tim Sokell]

er....um....no Liz, I don't actually know the Rugby version myself, I just heard somebody singing it one time at a party I was at. I wasn't really listening to be honest, and not enjoying the party very much either (all those rugger types!) I can hardly even remember that song now, or what it was about, or any of the eight verses.

[Jason]

He sat by her window and played his guitar,
Played his guitar, played his guitar.
He sat by her window and played his guitar,
Played his guitar.
or
He lay in his his hammock and smoked a cigar..

She smiled at him coyly and smoked her cigar...
(She sat down beside him and played his guitar)

He told her he loved her, but my how he lied...

They were to get married but somehow she died...

He went to her funeral just for the ride...

He sat on her tombstone and laughed 'til he cried...

The tombstone fell over and squish-squash he died...

She went to heaven and flip-flop she flied...

He went the other way and frizzled and fried...

The moral of the story is never tell lies...

[Cal]

Ah...happy memories of wearing my Girl Guide uniform and singing the above with gusto!

[Cal]

I'll just add - gusto is a close friend - before Andy does!

[AndyC]

I'm staying out of this. Seemed wise.