It's well worth clicking on the picture today, in order to see the bigger version. This is a picture illustrating what a bored sheep dog might get up to in his or her spare time. I suppose my situation may be similar, in a way, except I would never seek to do anything quite so energetic, at least not yet. I suppose the other difference is that I am not a dog. [insert tasteless joke here]
So, boredomwise, my position is mostly to blame. By that, I mean my exact position. I am required to lie for 3 hours at a time, with up to half and hour's break in between for eating, going to the toilet, playing Colin MaCrae 2004 Rally etc.
The way I managed to remain at home, was to promise inclination. For this, we used the single bed which was already in our lounge for me to lie on. As the diagram below so wonderfully illustrates, we have raised the bottom of it, with several pieces of kitchen work-top.
This wonderful diagram, roughly hewn by my own fair hands illustrates what we have done perfectly. It's a curious position to lie in, because everything literally runs backwards. I feel the fluids draining out of my leg - and then back into it when I finally climb down from my new perch. That's the worst bit. Getting off guarantees a few minutes of profound discomfort. Thereafter, it's not too bad for a while, but before long I find myself grateful for the relief the position ultimately brings.
Relief is the name of the game. At times, whilst perched up in this way, I actually get periods of relief from the pain - right up until I move my left leg. It is, though, quite magical. If I choose a moment soon after my pills, it can actually feel nice.
I had forgotten how pleasant being pain-free was. It's .............. fantastic. Utterly sublime. Even if only for a few minutes. I find myself desperately trying not to move so as to preserve the illusion that all is well and that I feel fine for as long as possible.
Wow!
All I can say is this: All of you who are not in pain - try to remember how fortunate you are and enjoy your pain-free life. Thanks to Position 2, I can now join your number.
Well, sometimes.
"Lean on me, when you're not strong ....." etc ... but not from that angle! Still all the extra blood to the brain must have an effect ....
Posted by: Liz | October 14, 2004 at 08:15 AM
If only it were blood rushing to Andy's brain, Liz. Unfortunately, it's far more likely to be a mixture of toxic leg pus and Andy's own filth that is slowly draining, through his neck, and into his frontal lobes, causing the gradual decline into fecklessness witnessed here. We must pity Andy, and never forget that he will almost certainly never skip again.
Posted by: Dr Graeme Garden | October 14, 2004 at 08:49 AM
I'm afraid you've been fooled by that
photo. That's not a sheepdog - it's 2
wolves - the one underneath being a
wolf in sheep's clothing.
Posted by: Karrie | October 14, 2004 at 11:06 PM
The things that some people will do just because they are due to visit Yehlex (UK). Is our coffee and company really so bad? But I must congratulate you on talking one of the best photos of me for years, always knew my best profile was when I jump on top.
Posted by: Ian | October 15, 2004 at 02:10 PM
Honestly? The coffee is fine - although I might bring my own tea-bags next time.
As for the company, there are not many places I work at sometimes and yet feel part of the team.
Sorry about the delay, guys. When I am nice and sure I have two useable legs, I'll be straight down.
Posted by: AndyC | October 15, 2004 at 04:30 PM