AndyBlog

Egg-Play

Subtitled: "The Return to Fujiyama"

Or: More food fun with Jason and Spouse

Location: Fujiyama Japanese restaurant in Newcastle

Unfortunate eggs is what this is all about. We saw at least a dozen be ritually abused and thrown away in front of our very eyes. It's a shame, because they bring so much joy, yet singularly fail to take part in the repast. Some do - most don't.

It's all about throwing them in the air and catching them in a chef's hat, preferably one which one is wearing. On one's head.

The trouble/delight is that most people, chef's included, fail to catch the eggs and they end up anywhere /but/ in the chef's hat, to the overwhelming hilarity of all. Granted, it is a joke which is best served fresh, and eased into funnydom with the subtle inbibation of copious amounts of Saki, but the experience, when aided by the careful addition of a delicious Japanese meal is undoubtedly a most enjoyable one.

I, as Jason mentioned, could quite imagine that the hens who had laboured hard to provide us with the raw materials for this pantomime, would be somewhat disappointed with our attitude - and the shocking waste of their wares. Hens of England, I apologise. But we had fun.

If this all works out and you have broadband and can be bothered, here is a little movie of such a happening:

Move along now, no more blog for you tonight.

Banana Gallows

Having taken this little picture, upon discovering what appeared to me to be an amusing scene, I assumed that I would be able to think of some pithy comments to add to the mirth and guide you gently to the path of laughter.

I can only apologise.

A Mysterious Day

I spent a mysterious day out on Monday, taking mysterious photographs of strange and unlikely things. Take this coke can, for example. I wouldn't normally photograph one of these things, but the circumstance required it, but in a nice way.

I'm afraid I cannot tell you the 'whys' or the 'hows' on any of this. I merely ask you to accept that, however tenuous, there was a reason and a purpose to my actions. Furthermore, I want you to understand that this was not just the chore I may make it seem. It was fun, and good fun at that.

On a less rainy day, it may even have been a close to wonderful experience. As it was, even the ever-present gloom did not quench my spirits. It was a good day, and if you are very lucky, I will post another picture tooken on that self same day.

Thank you, please.

PAULA DELIVERS ON PERVERSE PACT

Would-be Marathon runner Paula Radcliffe, 28, appears to have deceived us all, or so said sources close to the roly-poly athlete last night. Close friend, Emma Gency, 28, revealed that Paula's bizarre pull-out of the Olympic marathon was actually the result of a drunken pact made with her last year.

"No matter how good I make it look, if I stop on the 36km mark whilst in fourth place, you'll know I was making good on my promise."

Gency insists that these are the words of her chum Paula, who will now demand that Emma delivers on her side of the bargain by seducing and bedding ex-Prime Minister John Major - thus following in the footsteps of ex-health minister and failed "Devil's Kitchen" chef Edwina Currie.

"We'd often laughed and joked about Paula simply stopping during the Marathon at the Olympics" spake the distressed pactee, "At one point she claimed she would simply laugh, walk off the course and go and buy a burger or something. I notice she didn't do that, but I am amazed she went through with it."

Paula Radcliffe was presented with these developments late last night, but has so far refused to comment. Her silence tells its own story. Honestly, she's so naughty.

It's Official

As I may have mentioned - or not - Fiona, my wife, is an Optometrist and has recently opened her very own branch of Specsavers. They had a fun day last Saturday and I went along to take some pictures, in the vain hope that the local rag would print them.

Well, I'd say that this is something of a result. :)

I've always enjoyed taking pictures, particularly of the digital variety, but have never really dared to think of myself as a "photographer". Once said in that way, people would expect me to start talking about my "aperture" and to enquire exactly how high my "f-stop" is.

Such filth will never pass my lips, rest assured.

I'm happy that an area of interest of mine can cross over and become part of my business. Come to think of it, that goes for everything I do. Maybe I have no actual skills at all - just hobbies that I con people into paying me for.

Ah well, so be it.

Decisions

As I sat in Church last week, I realised I had a big decision to make. It was one that had been presenting itself, on and off, for a while. Not surprisingly, the theme of the service was about making decisions - wholly appropriate for me.

As things rolled along, I began to realise that I wasn't really listening too hard to what was being said, because I was hearing something loud and clear in my head. Maybe I had been hearing it loud and clear for a long while, but had been ignoring it.

The trouble is, big decisions nearly always involve hurt and some sort of loss. They are easy to run away from because of this. After all, what truly good thing can there be that means hurting people? It's clever rationalisation, but it does not really hold.

So much has changed in my life in recent times. Some things I have had to change myself, others have merely happened to me. The latter are a lot easier to cope with. The changes I have made myself have all been thought out very carefully beforehand, and then entered into with caution, trepidation and a fair amount of sadness. Even the decision to lose weight was a tough one. I had to decide that I really did want to lose the weight - and that I really did want to stop eating the way I used to. It was a lifestyle change and it carried with it a cost.

This present decision is a lot harder, but the final piece of the jigsaw is now in place, and I know what I must do. I am always quick to criticise those who decide something and then back track - so I am writing this to let myself know how sure I am right now.

I can't tell you what it is at the moment - but I will in due course.

...and that is as near to a cliff-hanger as I get.

Headway

Here's something that I have been meaning to do for a long time now. I've wanted to get a forum online where people can get together and talk about the stuff that interests them.

I get into so many good conversations with people - and there is rarely time to say all of what could be said. Usually some boring business necessity stands in the way and we have to cut short our discussion. I'll bet that the same has happened to you too.

So, the idea behind Headway is to enable people to discuss stuff, raise subjects which interest us - or talk about things which baffle us. It may also be a place to take discussions which start off here on this Blog, or in other Blogs like Jason's or Tim's.

Headway exists as a messageboard - which is, put simply, a web site on which anyone can post messages. Before you can post a message or reply to a message thread, you will first need to register. This is quick and easy, as well as being free. It's up to you whether you take an online persona or reveal who you really are. If you fancy taking part, but would prefer not to let people know your real name, that is fine. Your views will be heard just as well.

I've included sections about Christianity and Church because these are things in my life, maybe in yours too. If you would like other sections to reflect your interests, then there is a place to request them, or just ask me via email.

It's a bit weird, because I am currently the only person who knows that the messageboard is there, and so the threads are few and far betweeen - and exclusively written by me. Deeply sad. I guess this is your chance to get in there and put your own stamp on how it looks.

You're all very welcome. Whether you want a deep discussion about the meaning of life - or to poke fun at something ridiculous. It's a blank canvas, and it will be defined by the personalities of those who occupy the space.

I've paid the necessary fees, so that there will be no banner advertising to distract us.

Want to get started? Go here: http://headway.proboards29.com/

A quick hello

Hello.

Everythings going pretty well at the moment.

Diet: Holding
Legs: Improving slowly

So move along - I'll not write lots of wibble to keep you reading.

Health & Happiness

It's very easy to be over-cautious about such things as health when one has been pretty much off colour for over 3 months - that's a quarter of a year in old money. Nor would I say that I am by any means completely out of the woods. Neither would I say that any upturn in circumstances that I might be about to lay claim to will be, or is implied to be, in any way permanent.

But, having said all that - and I am aware that this is starting to sound more like a legal disclaimer than good news - I am feeling better.

The ear infection is a little better today, and so I assume that it will not get worse. My legs are gradually starting to feel more like normal and my mobility is definitely improved. But for the ear infection, I think I really would be feeling a whole lot better.

Now, I am nurturing aspirations of something akin to a reasonably full recovery and a continuation of what I like to refer to as "my life".

Watch this space. :)

Profuse Apologies

Here I go again, needing to say sorry.

I have ignored you. Partly through busyness, partly through being down in the dumps.

Let me tell you about yesterday. Yesterday was a good day. I remarked to Fiona that yesterday was the first day for a long time that I genuinely felt like I was getting better. My legs are noticeably better, and things definitely do seem to have taken a good turn.

Then I woke up in the night, feeling rather strange. My left ear feels like it has a tennis ball in it, and the hearing is rather strange. Quite a lot of pain, too. Thankfully, my balance is unaffected, although I do feel decidedly off colour.

I suppose it just makes me feel a bit like Job. (If you don't know the chap, try the Old Testament of the Christian Bible) I'm usually the last one to spiritualise things, but it's starting to feel to me like I am being deliberately put through the mill. Just when I was looking forward to enjoying the optimism that comes from being better, along comes something else to drag me down.

So, the question for me is - can I bounce back and triumph over this new situation?

Sadly not. At least not so far. I have been right down in the pit as a result. I'll snap out of it, I know - but what a load of hassle.

I have work to do - much of it involving hearing stuff. I phoned the doctor and she cannot see me till next week. Terry is trying to pull some strings - I might yet be saved by a pleasant doctorial intervention. My dear doctor - she has already earned herself so many medals - I can hardly blame her for being busy.

So, there we go, another extremely personal voyage through my seemingly unending tale of woes. It's a shame, because so much that is good is happening. Fiona has just opened up her very own Specsavers store and it seems to be going very well indeed. I am really very happy for her. She has dreamed of this moment for so long and now it has finally happened.

Actually, writing all of this down has helped a bit. Now I must get on with some work.

I'll write again soon, and with some good news, I hope.