A whole, actual, pineapple.

Many years ago, before very much had happened in my little life, at a time when milk bottles looked big and piano teachers smelled funny, my mother arrived home one day with possibly the strangest thing I had ever seen. It had masses of weird green stuff at the top and a strange nobbly skin which tapered slightly at the bottom. I reached out and touched it all over, fascinated by the interesting textures of the skin and I noted, also, the strong earthy smell which was rapidly filling the room.

It was, of course, my aunt Bessie, come to stay with us for a few weeks. Dying her hair green was just part of a behavioural pattern which was putting her at some considerable risk, so we got to look after her whilst she "got better". Not many weeks, or years after this incident, my mother bought a fresh pineapple, and I remembered all of this because, yesterday, someone mindspewingly generous bought me a fresh pineapple. A whole one.

We've had them before, mind - but they have never been /mine/ before. I now have the interesting task of deciding whether to eat it, or whether to deal with its mental health problems. I suppose it all hinges on whether it made its own leaves go green. Or something.

In fact, looking back on it, not much has changed over the years. Whole pineapples are always fantastic fun, I still like touching the skin of strange looking women, and piano teachers rarely fail to smell funny.

PS I'm fine. Pills working well...

Comments

[Liz]

A pineapple .... nice. I once saw one of these wonderful fruits being prepared in a very artistic way. What made it nicer was that it made the aforesaid fruit really easy to eat. I would post pictures, but sadly the facility is not available. I shall email them. A warning .... they are very crap pictures, but they do give some idea of the process.

[Jason]

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of pineapples? Welcome back to the land of blog. Liz - will you send me the pictures too please?

[AndyC]

She's away for the weekend, Jason. I have obliged.

I have also sent you the photos.

A.