AndyBlog

Great Christmas!

...quiet Christmas.

I never made it down to Jac's for Christmas Day festivities. So sad. I just could not drive today - didn't make it down the stairs even. I took extra pain killers to get me through the night and they rendered me unfit in a driving kind of a way.

I had a nice Christmas meal with someone strangely familiar - and then another Christmas meal with my colleagues from the Arts Forum Committee. I feel so guilty going out with these people - they work tirelessly for the AF and I do all but nothing, whilst arguably having the most time on my hands. I guess that is the sad irony of depression.

Today has ended up as strange a Christmas as I have ever had. Spent, in most part, completely on my own. Many thanks to Jason for supplying me with a Christmas dinner fit for a King - or someone very important indeed - maybe Simon Cowel or something.

Here's hoping you had a special time and I wish you every good thing over these Christmas Holidays. Me? Oh, I am interested to see what I'll do in 2009.

Games beat pain revelation

Pain sufferers find gaming better than drugs

" A researcher at Simon Fraser University in Canada has discovered evidence to show that playing video games is more effective at helping chronic pain sufferers than medication.

Professor Diane Gromala worked with doctors in an attempt to determine how gaming can relieve the pain of patients.

According to the published report, "controlled experiments consistently show subjects who are distracted in a fully-virtual reality world… report less pain than their counterparts using drug-based pain therapy”. "

[Taken from the Digital Spy Web Site today]

I find this enthralling. As a chronic pain sufferer for some years now, I have tried most things suggested.

Recently, I have been suffering from significant stress as well as pain. I have taken to playing an online role-playing game - not a nasty one - just a simple character-based game in which I move around a 3-d world meeting people, doing activities etc.

Some would, no doubt, call it boring. They may be right, but when I need to get some relief from what I am feeling, I find it is just the ticket. An hour clicking away and flying around to different places and I tend to forget the pain to a significant extent. I can settle my mind, and prepare for sleep. As a consequence, I sleep better and feel more refreshed.

I don't know if this is quite what those Canadian researchers are on about, but it would seem so. I have certainly seen the benefits - far beyond the time actually spent playing the game.

Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.

Mosquito Mark 2 - Teenage Pest Control

Introducing:

MOSQUITO MARK II

Smaller and Compact – Ideal for discreet deployment
Improved Design – Manufactured in Diecast zinc alloy and steel to prevent vandalism
More Features – Can be activated by Timer, PIR, Remote Control and CCTV
More practical – Has facility to automatically shut off after 20 minutes
Internal/External Use – Also suitable for Accommodation Blocks, etc

...or so says the advert.

But what actually is this - and how does it work?

It's a well-known fact that children hear better than adults. More specifically, the younger we are, the higher sound (or frequency) we can hear.
I noticed this very clearly the other week when Louise was here. I was charging my drill's battery and she ran in and asked me what the awful squealing noise was. I took the battery from its charger and she reported that the noise stopped.

I was unable to continue charging the battery as the noise caused Louise some considerable distress. I could just about detect that there was a slight noise, Liz could hear nothing.

So, it is this principle that the manufacturers or the Mosquito are seizing upon. Their exciting unit is mounted on the fronts of shops and by nervous residents in high-crime areas. When deployed, the unit emits a very high pitched noise which only the younger people can hear.

The result is that teenagers are "considerably distressed" by the awful squealing noise, cease their loitering (either with or without intent) and go and loiter elsewhere. In our wildest dreams, perhaps they feel challenged about their negative lifestyles and seek to lead a more education-conscious and generous life.

I'd buy one today if the effect could be narrowed down to teenagers intent on naughtiness. I know that is probably most of them, but I would feel sorry for the tiny minority who wish me only peace and joy. I would also spare a thought for younger children - or even babies who might be passing. Not much fun for them.

So, until they learn to totally fine-tune the action of the Mosquito MkII, and with some considerable regret - I'm afraid I'll have to give it a miss.
If, unlike me, you simply want to breathe as much destruction as you legally can on the younger members of our society, you may need to buy one quickly, as a governmental investigation is already underway. It is likely, one may reasonably assume, that this device will be outlawed in the near future.

All We Like Sheep

“I have watched and listened in near disbelief as we humans show ourselves for the pack animals we really are. One whiff of controversy and away we go to do the one thing that is guaranteed to make the whole situation worse.

We think of no-one but ourselves and we indulge our short term goals without a second thought. Northern Rock just need a bit of stability and calmness right now and all will be well. Why can’t people show some faith in the financial experts in this country and do the right thing for once. Is it so hard to act in the interests of the many one time?”

...is what I thought as I heard the news about the Northern Rock building society. I thought this, until I remembered that I had £8.35 in a Northern Rock account. Then I thought, better just take take it out to be on the safe side.

My thoughts after this were confusing and conflicting - but mostly on the side of wishing I was not as I was.

Now, I am decided. The money stays.

...but still a voice says: “What if you had a couple of grand in there, Andy - would you leave it there then?”

Oh my.

Amazon is generous...it's official

Worth a click to see the full thing if you can't read it here.

The less pleasant side...

Someone drove their car at this man tonight

All too often there is noise from drunken people at night here in NBTS. Tonight, the disturbance started somewhat earlier when someone apparently decided to drive their car at this unfortunate man. He landed just behind TL's car and the scene unfolded pretty much as you can see.

I haven't dared go out and see if there is any damage to TL's car - it seems kinda churlish to care about such things when someone has been injured.

It's days like this when living between a pub and a club are not fun at all. Ambulance's and fights are sadly quite common, whereas shouting and screaming till the early hours is a daily trial - although worse at weekends.

Now we learn that the club is seeking to have its hours extended so that people can be entertained later and drink for longer. You guessed it, we are going to complain in writing - along with a good many others in this locality.

It's a shame, because we were having such a pleasant evening as well.

The Great Fire

Coming home yesterday I saw a massive plume of black smoke. It was placed in such a way that it could just about be our house on fire.

On getting nearer it became apparent that the fire was next to the Salvation Army building rather than right next to our house - thank goodness. TL nipped out for a quick look, but then we heard the fire engine!

Time to go out there myself, despite the high winds and lashing rain. I was rewarded with this view of two of Britain's finest fighting a horrible plastic and rubber fire.

Plastic cones and traffic barriers had been piled on this green area, prior to being taken back to the depot. Enterprising youths had taken it upon themselves to set them on fire. The smoke was acrid and the couple of lung-fulls I received were not pleasant at all.

This is my theory about how the fire was started. There were a number of them on the ground near to the place where the fire was. Cheap lighters with the tops knocked off - a great way to deliver lighter fuel to piles of stuff, don't you think?

As I retreated the rain got heavier and the wind gusted. Time to run for cover and warmth.

The exciting day was over and I had yet another chapter of material for my next children's book. Not that I have written a first - well, apart from "Mumy's Day Off" in 1980. (with Robert Wilkinson's illustrations)

I need to end this now.

Passports

I just heard on the news that according to figures, undetected passport fraud accounts for 0.5% of passports issued in the UK.

Now, maybe I am quite, quite mad - but how the heck can you measure /undetected/ things?

Aren't they, by their very nature, UN-detected? I mean, honestly.

Italian Teacher Cuts Off Noisy Kid's Tongue

From the peculiarosities site...

An Italian teacher has been suspended by her school in Milan after cutting off the tongue of a lively 7-year-old child with a pair of scissors, daily Corriere della Sera reported Tuesday.

The boy has since had his tongue stitched back but is afraid to go back to school. His parents say he suffers nightmares and runs away whenever he sees a knife. They are now suing the school for damages.

Gray Noise?

During the lunchtime news on BBC I could have sworn I saw our very own Chris Gray, commenting on noise levels in Newcastle.

"Could this have been NBTS' very own unibrowed trombone player?", I thought.

I'm still thinking it, actually. Can anyone else fill me in with more details?